Medical Update

The past 10 days have been hectic and yet I have remained the farm almost daily. I have the delightful Alison and Corina that do my domestic duties each Wednesday morning. I am home all day and yet I seem to get nothing done. How can this be?


Things changed dramatically on 5 February when I found my 40mg Oxycontin tablets floating in the toilet bowl. I phoned Palliative Care. Dr Newton and the team made the decision that I would be put onto patches; there appeared to be an absorption problem which could have been related to the Dicloxacillian antibiotic that I had been taking for suspected, low grade, chronic cellulitis.

The patches went on Saturday. I discontinued taking oral Oxycontin, under medical advice, and the unbearable pain began about 3am Sunday 7th. Being the caring, considerate person that I am I stupidly waited until 9am to phone Palliative Care. I was at screaming point! By 10.30am Sally arrived and promptly gave me an injection (no questions asked.) Miraculously, the pain quickly abated.

I went onto the 24 hour pump and remained on it until yesterday when Sally arrived bearing the good news that the pump would be removed. Very nervously, I resumed taking Oxycontin at a higher dosage. It is now 3.49am Friday 19th and I have been wide awake since 2am; not actually in pain, but very unsettled!

During this period I have had every test imaginable and the results are 'sort of' in. Dr Gupta phoned Monday with the news that, although the MRI shows a marked improvement in the radiated area, the cancer is still active in the Brachial Plexus. I will learn more when I consult with him this afternoon. Hence the reason for my sleeplessness!

The days fly; daily chores take so much longer. Even the simple task of going to the toilet means I struggle to get my underpants and trousers on. I am unable to fasten them. Even when using public toilets, I am sometimes forced to ask for help. Pride has gone out the door and been replaced with humility and gratitude.

Daily visits from Palliative Care take anywhere from half an hour to two and one half hours.

I still manage to do Haydn's bookwork but I am unsure of the future. I am surprised at the rapid deterioration and loss of function. I am scared, afraid of what is in store. I cry often and laugh lots. I give thanks for my beautiful family and friends that daily express their love and appreciation for having me in their lives.

I am isolated at the farm. I am unable to drive and may never do so again. I have lost so much. The isolation that had become my prison is now my bliss.

I phoned Lillo and ordered a new computer. I asked for the biggest, brightest coloured notebook; the one that most resembles a desk top. I asked about Web Cam and Voice Activated Technology that will allow me to continue my friendships online. I am planning for the day that I am blessed to have life and yet, the degree of disability will prevent me doing things in the way I have become used to.
Have I missed anything?

Today I give thanks for the many blessings that fill my life and the peace that fills my heart.