Time to 'Do it Your Way' Jezz

Although there was much to be done, the arrangements were being left to my inestimable family. Damian (always the 'rock' of the family) and Tyneal had the experience. Megan, in charge of music, was determined to make it a celebration to be remembered, just as Jezz would have wanted. When she suggested the venue should accommodate between 200 to 300 people, I questioned her. After all, Jeremy had only returned to live in Victoria more than 12 months after my Breast Ca diagnosis in 2003. Megs said 'Ma, have you forgotten what it is like to have Jezz around?' Even writing this entry brings with it a feeling of contentment; being with Jezz allowed me to be the person I most wanted to be. I began to wonder what it was like for others mourning their loss. His appeal had nothing to do with the way he looked, or the clothes he wore. It was simply his presence and, of course, the smile.

Damian approached Tobin Bros, appealing to them to allow him to collect Jeremy's body from Bairnsdale. He received an emphatic 'NO!' Definitely not! They did agree to allow management to make the decision and, given Damian's work record, as well as the circumstances, it was decided that both Damian and Tyneal would make the journey. I think I actually said somewhere that Tyneal was already undergoing training at the Victorian Police Academy. That is not right as they made the journey together. Thankfully, only a couple of years before, Damian had earned the nomination of 'Employee of the Year' and had won the award. He was held in high regard. Knowing that the accident that took his brother's life had been horrific, he was concerned about what it would be like for him to view his 'bro.' It was a big ask! He need not have worried. Haydn and I drove Damian's car, while he and Tyneal collected the work van. We set off on a journey to Bairnsdale; a journey that no family member should have to make.

Somehow the pain of writing this is overcome by the joy of knowing that Jezz was in good hands. Damian took with him Jeremy's Snoop Dogg CD's. I can imagine Jeremy's amusement as it would not be DJ's choice of music. What a ride the return journey to Melbourne would be. Damian had chosen a close personal friend at Tobin Bros to prepare the body for viewing; he wanted that for his brother.

Before we arrived in Bairnsdale I made a call to Brad Bennett, devoted Father to my granddaughter Ella. Although Megan and Brad are no longer together I asked Brad if he would consider singing at the service. I had always let Brad know that I would like him to sing at my own funeral. I would not have believed it possible; here I was asking  the same for my son. Brad's choice was 'Time of Your Life' by Green Day. Perfect!

Somehow, it was essential to ensure the message going to the young people at the service was about LOVE and HOPE.
Remember that when you leave this earth, you can take with you nothing that you have received - only what you have given; a full heart enriched by honest service, love, sacrifice and courage... St Francis of Assisi
Although I am a devoted Catholic I chose the Riviera Christian Centre as the venue. I wanted, as much as possible to keep this 'A Family Affair' therefore Tyneal's Dad, Mark, A Civil Celebrant, would perform the service. As a member of the Charismatic Renewal, I knew  it would be possible for me to arrange with Father Tony Brady to lay Jeremy's body to rest in the Catholic tradition. God willing, that would be done on our arrival back in Newcastle. It would not be the first time we had chosen to 'think outside the square' for Jezz.

Megan's choice for the music for the Audio Visual display was 'Forever Young' by Youth Group while Claire agreed to sing 'You Are the Sunshine of my Life,' secure in the knowledge that Jeremy was all of that, and more to me.

My amazing family ensured that we did indeed celebrate Jeremy's life. On 28 November 2006 we managed to do just that, knowing that we had a lifetime to mourn our loss. As I complete this post I want nothing more than to express my love and gratitude to Damian/Tyneal and Megan for undertaking the arrangements. Although four years have now passed I know the value in voicing love and appreciation as we never know what each new day brings. 'We know not the time or the place.' With breaking hearts they made the arrangements that allowed me the freedom to listen to the messages that came into my head as Jeremy entered the final stage of his journey into Eternal Life. I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been.

Was it another coincidence that we were able to use family and friends for many parts of the service? In spite of the pain of our loss we knew Jezz better than anybody else thus allowing us, in many ways, to stamp 'his' name on the service.

I remember a woman walking up to me with, what turned out to be her daughter. She explained that she did not know my son but she wanted to thank him, through me, for giving her daughter back her life. It seems to me that there is something special about the young who are destined for a better place. They leave this earth having made a difference.

Have you ever had a son who meant the world to you?

One you loved so very much, and miss him like I do.

Have you ever felt the heartache, or even nursed the pain?

Have you ever shed the tears that drop like falling rain?

If you've never had those feelings, then pray you never do

For on the day that Jezza left me, a part of me went too

Love you Sunshine. Miss you with every heartbeat..