Shh! Don't Talk

‘Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him when he falleth; for he has not another to help him up.’ – Bible: Ecclesiastes
Yesterday I suggested to Haydn that I would be looking to make plans to move next year. As you know, I struggle with the isolation and loss of independance. My cancer has robbed me of that!  As only Hayd could, he said  'Where would you go? Who would look after you, nobody wants you?' Good one Hayd! Fighting back tears, I said little except that the decision would be mine. And mine alone! I live with the belief that 'things work out best for people who make the best of the way things work out.'

The past couple of days have been particularly difficult. There have been many tears shed, and much swearing, particularly when I found myself unable to throw the sheets over the line. I now have limited range of movement in my right arm and shoulder. My pain meds have been reduced in the hope that the chronic fatigue will miraculously disappear however, I am adjusting to increased sensations in the inflamed nerve endings.

 I have taken the following lines from  Paul who opened my eyes with his posting of Desiderata....
'But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.' 
It seems, at times, the fatigue and loneliness is 'playing with my mind.'

This afternoon Haydn arrived home with his 'Shh! Don't say a thing! Just listen to what I have to say.' He proceeded to tell me that he thinks it would be a good idea to buy a caravan. Last year we purchased a new Mitsubishi Pajero 4WD with that in mind. I think it was my decision that it was all too hard; my pain had returned with a vengeance and I was not in a good place. The thought of being organised enough to pack and unpack a van seemed like hard work. As the owner of industrial sheds in Newcastle, there is always work to be done; Haydn likes to be busy. We would be able to take the van down and stay for a few days, allowing Haydn to work on the sheds and me to receive much needed therapy for my lymphoedema etc. Of course, there would also be the opportunity for socialising. Haydn feels we could take the van across to the coast and spend time. I am a little uncertain as Hayd is a 'worker' and finds it very difficult to relax. He does not enjoy being a 'tourist' so it would mean changes. The big PLUS for me is that we would be able to visit my children. God willing. Yeah!

Survival

It feels important that I take the time to do regular entries and accept that, at times, they may be short and to the point. With the deterioration in my right arm/hand there may well come a time that I am dependent on voice activated technology to allow me to get my message across. In the meantime I will do my best as a one finger typist.

Feeling very chuffed today as we have been away the past two weekends and I have somehow survived.

The last weekend of May we travelled to Dubbo to visit my beautiful, and much loved, Aunty Pat who is Mum's youngest, and only surviving sister. The weather was horrendous and Saturday night saw Haydn and Uncle Bruce at the trots. The stands offered very little protection from the elements and, like a true punter, Bruce had no intention of leaving before the final race was run.

Fortunately, we were rewarded with good Chinese food that they picked up on the way home.

Haydn bought a new Mitsubishi Pajero back in November; the first new vehicle in many years. It was ironic to find that we had a rock hit our windscreen on the way home. After years of driving second hand vehicles, who would have thought that we would do a windscreen driving through Dunedoo. Oh well! That's life.

This past weekend we joined my very special friend Sonya, and her husband Trevor, in the celebration of his 70th birthday. Sonya had vouchers for a weekend at Australis Resort at Diamond Beach on the North Coast of NSW and we were invited to join them.

Once again, we were faced with horrendous weather conditions, particularly on the Friday night. On arrival at the Resort, Sonya had phoned to organise collection by the courtesy bus to take us to and from the restaurant for dinner. It was booked for 6.15pm. As we stood waiting in the pouring rain tempers were wearing a little thin when it got to be 6.40pm and there was still no sign of Ron in his, 'not so trusty' coach.

We did eventually get to have dinner and were delivered safely back to our accommodation with absolutely no let up in the rain. I think we have had about 4 inches, or 100mls, of rain over the past week.

Saturday we had an enjoyable day and even managed to fit in a movie. Our choice was Robin Hood, starring a couple of favourite Aussie stars, namely Russell Crowe and Kate Blanchett. Dinner at the local Tavern was excellent.

Cannot believe that both weekends have passed and I have taken not a single photograph. Knowing that I want so badly to have these experiences recorded, I will have to do better in future.