Thursday, February 11, 2010

Staying Strong

Haydn has always been conscious of preparation and funding his own retirement. As Managing Director of his own small Manufacturing Company, in May 2000 he decided to buy an industrial complex containing 4 sheds, thus preparing for his own his own comfortable retirement.

At the time of our retirement - June 2009 - he was given a gift from one of the tenants, 2 very small frangipani trees, which we decided to keep in pots; they were of unknown colour. One of them has just produced its first flower; almost white with pale pink centre.



Friday turned out to be drama filled.

Palliative care arrived mid morning and set up the canula in the abdomen for the Grasby machine. By mid afternoon, I realised that there was redness at the site. A phone enquiry, regarding the stinging and itching, and was told by Chris they would be right out. Better to do it then rather than drive the distance in the middle of the night if there were problems. They departed about 5.30pm.

Around 9pm the alarm began to go off. After waking Haydn to have him unlock the machine ( the lock & key probably insures the safety of the morphine) we determined that it was not the battery. I therefore found myself waiting for a third visit from Palliative Care at 10.23pm Friday night.

This time I had successfully pulled the canula out and it had bent back on itself. No way was this little beauty going to give me any pain relief. Thank goodness for the inbuilt safety features of these machines.

Then, of course, there was no getting me to sleep. Too much hype for a Friday night.

An interesting view of how daggy I looked at that time with the machine hooked up.



And then there is our big fat night time resident frog. I now know why he is huge!

He climbs on our glass French doors later at night and devours the moths and insects that are attracted by the lights inside.

I thoroughlly enjoyed my observations.

Photography not brilliant as I am learning to manage with a greater degree of disability due to the recurrence of the cancer.

Almost impossible to click the shutter with the right hand.


And then...

Then there were all of these beautiful Birthday Cards to help me to celebrate my January birthday.

Haydn asked if my friends thought I was going to die as there seemed to be more cards than usual.

My reply 'We are all born to die.'

It is between me and my Maker but I know I am not ready yet!







12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey My Gorgeous Friend.so much going on,my heart is with you always.what a beautiful flower.Chez u look so beat in the pic.wrapping my arms arounds u from miles across.Chez you are loved by so many and the cards say it all.Another test of this journey to walk thru and right by your side all the way my friend.
Sending lots of love and Gentle hugs..Kaz..xoxoxo

Chez said...

Kaz, thanks for sharing the good and the not so good sweetie. Can only do this with the love and support that fills my heart with such joy.
God bless our angels too xo

Diane Rodgers said...

Hi Cheryl,
I had a feeling once again you would be here writing. I see another beautiful flower has bloomed for you! Always a sweet surprise when something blooms for the first time!
I am a bit confused as to what happened with this machine and your ability to use it for pain relief. Is it going to work now? I sure hope and pray it will. Last week after all of the testing was done...I somehow missed what the results were and am afraid to ask.
Whatever the results, you have said here the cancer has returned...is there treatment you will be taking? Oh Lord I hope so.
Your Birthday looks to have been a happy time with all of the cards sent filled with so much love! This makes me smile! You made it through January my friend!! This is a good sign!!!
Praying for you each day...with much love and care.
Di ♥

Chez said...

Di, it is always a delight to write and then you find you here reading. Writing has been a huge problem over the past week and I have been unsure if it is more to do with the pain levels or the condition.

Extensive testing last week and the results are just coming in. A phone call from the doctor yesterday so there will soon be a full report and I will be able to write moore. I have not yet talked with my children so will get info and jot it down as my life history.
We all know that I write as a legacy for my children knowing that ultimately. one day, this information is all lost otherwise.
With Memory-of, blogging and fb I feel I am doing as I like to do. My one and only way of having complete freedom to make choices.
Di, the gardening is almost impossible these days and yet it still delights me and I still continue to take cuttings and have H help me to get them in. Always a surprise these days.
Thanks for caring my friend. The good Lord is looking down on me and I have actually managed to type this morning without too many hiccups.
Love and light aalways xoxo

Debby said...

Chez, I am sorry that you had such a time with your machine, but am proud of your practical nature, your ability to see wonder even within the confines of your disability. You are a great inspiration. My prognosis is the same as yours. Yours is the same as everyone else's: We all will live till we die. Period. God bless you, and I'll be praying for you.

Chez said...

Debby, that is so sweet.
Thank you.
Amazingly, with the Grace of
God, I am in a fantastic place. We are all teachers on this journey and that is all I have ever wanted to be. Just do not get paid...

Judy , Jamie~leigh's Mama said...

Hi Cheryl,
Thanks so much for allowing us to share in your thoughts and your journey. You and your writings really touch my heart.

So sorry you are having a difficult time with the pain pump and certainly hope that the kinks have been removed by now. And I'm praying you get relief from your pain soon. Sending you some gentle hugs sweetie.

Absolutely LOVE your resident frog! Have you named him yet? He is really cute, but bet he is also a pest, especially when you're trying to rest.

Man oh man, did you ever rack up on the birthday cards! Fantastic! A beautiful gesture of love, caring, and friendship from your family and friends.

The frangipani tree is gorgeous. Does it have a smell? I bet if it does, it smells heavenly! I have tried to grow some plumerias before, but have always managed to kill them off before they even got started.

Love & hugs,
Judy

Chez said...

Hey there Judy thanks so much for leaving your calling card. Typing tough for me at times so it does excite me to complete the task and then to find that my followers come from outside of fellow bloggers. Now that is a way for you to tell your story about your amazing Jamie-leigh!
You have def won the competition. I know you will name our resident frog and I will think of you when I sit and amuse myself with his antics while the rest of the household is asleep.
Thanks for writing. Have worn myself out this morning. Hugs xoxo
By the way.we are looking for fragrance in the garden and the frangipini tree will help in that regard. Lots of smell which comes from exotics rather than our natives.

mandy said...

Hello Chez, wonderful to see that you are blogging even in this difficult time...You are definitely an inspiration Chez...You remind me alot of my mother in law..She too always saw the positive in things even if it was making her life uncomfortable...I hope that the pain relief is all sorted out for you now...
Chez I simply love frangipani`s especially the aroma they give off...
I`m sorry I missed your birthday but do hope that it was a special one my friend and that there are many more to come....
Sending you warmest thoughts and prayers my friend..xxx

Chez said...

What a thrill to find that we are here at the same time Mandy.
I am hoping to do blog entry with test results etc as my typing skills are about zilch these days.
Deterioration just too much some days. Happening fast!Unfortunately!!
Maybe exercise may help, working on that now.
Bless you my friend xo

Anonymous said...
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Daria said...

Chez ... sending you strength and courage.