To the Point!

Thank you for your comments which mean so much to me. Recently I have dropped behind with my replies and, God willing, I will manage to get caught up. Please don't hold your breath, just in case! I can promise I will do my best.

The popular conception of therapy usually goes something along the lines of client, couch and therapist, coupled with a notepad and talk. Yesterday went well! Jeremy's birthday passed smoothly! Many candles were lit on his Memory-of site and I received countless personal messages, giving me a sense of being personally blessed.  This led me to Google 'Group Therapy.' According to Georgetown University Counseling and Psychiatric services, Group Therapy is a powerful venue for growth and change.The isolation of farm life, along with a degree of disability, gives me more time to think than I would like. Definitely, time to grow and time to change! Therefore, being part of a group allows me to connect with others in a similar situation. Although the circumstances of my breast cancer recurrence appear to be somewhat unique, the blogging community provides a safe forum, along with emotional support, in my daily battle. Social Networking also gives me access to a large diverse group of individuals offering warmth and providing support. This is the perfect forum to say a huge 'Thank You.'

Dr Sales yesterday checked both the rash on my eyelid and the mark on my jaw line. Thankfully, neither is cause for concern. The rash is a scratch that has become slightly infected while the spot is a skin cancer but...NOT A MELANOMA! I have always used Curaderm for Basal Cell Carcinoma treatment so will probably do the same with this one. He was however, concerned about my current level of  fatigue, as well as the results from the Doppler ultrasound, which showed a complete obstruction of the subclavian and axillary veins indicating extensive post treatment changes within the soft tissue of the right axilla.

I have an appointment with my radiation oncologist on Friday. Dr Sales has suggested I may need further testing. I am normally reluctant to undergo testing unless the symptoms suggest there is some sort of activity. I feel testing is essential at this stage, in spite of my belief that testing increases risks.. The problem could be radiation damage, tumour growth or very extensive blood clotting. Whatever it is, it is a cause for concern.

The one thing I have noticed is that when I feel well in myself I worry less about outcomes. I let my body be the barometer of the soul. As I have been feeling 'out of sorts' as well as fatigued I am 'looking for trouble.' Not a good thing!

On a lighter note, today I had a manicure and pedicure done. Not being able to do my own has become a nightmare. The nails on my right hand often look like 'claws.' I have only just located Tracey, offering a mobile service. In spite of giving explicit instructions about care being taken with cuticles etc I have been left with red, inflamed toes. I think rather than 'pushing' the cuticles back, they were 'shoved.' As you can imagine, I have been applying Tea Tree Oil all afternoon in the hope of reducing the risk of infection. Drat! There has to be a better way!

‘We cannot tell the exact moment a friendship is formed; as in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses, there is at last one that makes the heart run over’. Author unknown

Fellow Bloggers Making a Difference

Today I managed to make it to the Oncology Support Group meeting at the Calvary Mater Hospital. We were let down by technology, thus it was left to the lovely Veronica Fenning  (Social Worker) to come up with a contingency plan. This she did beautifully. Several things came together, giving me a sense of  satisfaction and the hope that others may find pleasure in something that leaves me feeling happy and fulfilled.

I was delighted to see photocopies of blogging information on the table; Veronica encouraged participants to take a copy. This pleased me, as I had previously spoken informally on the subject and I had then sent an email to Veronica leading her to a starting place. I enjoyed speaking openly about a subject that has become an integral part of my cancer journey. There were several things on today's list and these were discussed openly. I think we agreed unanimously that we do best to avoid anyone, or anything, that takes away HOPE. In a discussion on exercise, most felt it was important but did not quite know where to start. I pointed out that it is ironic, the very thing that works for fatigue is exercise at a lower intensity, gradually increasing appropriately. Veronica asked me to expand on that and also where group members would go if they were seeking such information. Big smile on my face, I said 'Where else but fellow bloggers.' It was then I thought of previous posts in which I mentioned my lack of energy. Brenda from Breast Cancer Sisterhood and Julie @ Fitness for Survivors both took the time to email me with personal offers of information and assistance. There is no doubt that I am reminded daily of this wondrous world in which 'Sisterhood' reigns supreme. I am very grateful to you Brenda and Julie. Then, of course, there is Carole who sent me a lovely long email, including list of supplements, that were recommended to her. Where else do we find others so happy to share of themselves?

After the meeting I headed up to have a doppler done to check on the blood clot in my right arm that was originally diagnosed in April. Today's scan was much more thorough and, although I do not yet have the report, I did learn that the sonographer found it very difficult to discern the veins in my neck. He asked about my radiotherapy and I told him that I had been given the highest dose possible. Apparently my Radiation Oncologist decided that any more would negate the benefits and increase the risks. Personally, I feel that many of my problems have come from the after-affects of radiation. How I wish I had the courage to stop at the time my body told me enough was enough. I have increasing amounts of fluid building up in the neck and throat area and the tears literally ran down my cheeks today as he completed the scan. The pain was dreadful! He did comment on the number of 'new' surface veins that are appearing around the chest and arm. I am still a bit in the dark as far as results go!

Dinner over tonight and I turned on the computer to find information from my ISP on a deal on software that will allow me to 'stop typing and start talking.' Once again I am reminded of the generosity of fellow bloggers as I say 'thank you' to Alli who, very kindly, asked a friend of hers about the software he uses to communicate online. What joy! Cannot imagine what it will be like to take up the challenge and learn a skill that will give me freedom on the keyboard once more.

Thank you for the joy that I feel purely because you have come into my life and from showing me that you care. Bless you