Thank You for Holding my Hand

'When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.'

- Henri Nouwen

I have chosen this quote simply because it expresses how I feel 'at this time.' To those of you who hold my hand on this journey, you have my love and gratitude. I have learnt that it requires sensitivity and caring and is certainly your gift to me. Advice can serve no purpose at this time.

Today began with my monthly doctor's appointment. Yet again I left the Practice giving thanks for the day that Dr S became my Medical Practitioner. I could feel the sadness in him as he went about filling in forms that will allow free access to physiotherapy treatments for lymphatic drainage and also a request for ongoing Psycho Oncology services with Cath.  Dr S's facial expression, when he checked my wound, said it all. My Community Nurse had suggested I ask for his opinion on a nasty vein in the area. Her concern is that it may burst and, being on warfarin, could be frightening for me. Knowing what may happen allows me feel more comfortable. Dr S is now trying to keep me one step ahead of the pain by providing suitable pain medications. He has also suggested fortnightly visits, or more often if necessary.

From there it was off to see my Bowen Therapist who worked solely on lymphatic drainage which she has never done before. She estimated that my arm could contain as much as two to three kilos of extra fluid. I would say that is quite possible. I weighed myself this morning and my weight had 'shot up' three kilos in just over one week. It happened so easily. The treatment has certainly stirred things up; I have had to 'go within,' replacing pain with joy since the treatment. It is interesting to note the way the fluid has moved out of some areas. Instead of living with a swollen, lymphoedema limb, I now have a right arm that has ridges, lumps and dents. I am normally very careful when having manual lymphatic drainage as I did develop cellulitis on one occasion, post treatment. I normally see a therapist at the hospital, however, she has been away for a month and the next available appointment is the end of September; I simply could not wait that long. Dr S has suggested another physiotherapy practice, hence the Referral which will give me five free treatments.

Tomorrow we have another trip to Newcastle; it will allow me to keep my Psycho Oncology appointment. At times like this that I can see real benefits in relocating. Going back to town sounds like a plan. Dr S suggested it today and it is something that definitely deserves consideration. This is one of those times that I would like nothing more than for my daughter in Victoria to be well enough for us to spend lots of time together.

Paul Comes Good

"You cannot poison your body into health with drugs, chemo or radiation. 'Health' can only be achieved with healthful living."  -T.C. Fry

Yesterday, while visiting my General Practitioner, I found yet another reason to hold him in high regard. He took the time to explain the likely outcome of my soft tissue lesion. Having previously been told by the surgeon that, in his opinion, surgery could do more harm than good, I have been at a loss to know in which direction to turn. Dr Sales likened my tumour to the body of an optopus. Should that body be removed,  it would still leave arms (tentacles) intact. The surgery could leave a gaping wound that may not heal, as well as active cancer in the many area of the tentacles. With disruption to the blood and lymphatic system, and without efficient circulation of both, skin function would be severely impaired resulting in congestion and build up of waste material in the tissue, ultimately causing tissue death. The end result is a fungating wound not able to heal. Apparently they are very confronting, as well as being extremely smelly and uncomfortable. Definitely something to be avoided!

I mentioned to Dr Sales how much I appreciated the fact that he had taken me on as his patient when my own doctor, of long standing, had given up on me. We made a pact (kind of) that he would continue to seek answers as for as long as it takes. It is a very special human being that takes on a new patient with a chronic disease when his books have been closed for years.  I am also Bulk Billed, meaning that he makes practically no money from me.

Tonight I am also pleased to be able to say that I have now had a phone call from Paul, my Biochemist friend. Without saying more than is necessary, I feel it is critical to point out that Paul is no longer able to practise in his chosen field. He was written up nationally as being a 'cancer con man' in 2005 and, after a lengthy court battle, he lost all rights to practise as well as all computer records. I remained loyal to him as I felt his past had nothing to do with my present, and treatment. He has always said he is very grateful to me and will do whatever he can to be of assistance.

When he called me today he explained that people do not always get back to him when they say they will, plus the fact that he is dealing with different time zones. He assured me that he will always come good, however, it may not be in 'my' time. Thanks Paul. I was also interested to learn that many people still hear of him by word of mouth and he spends quite a lot of time seeking appropriate treatment for those in need. Not bad for someone that is a 'con man' and who does not receive any payment for the work he does in spite of being in an unfortunate financial position.

He apparently has a 'consensus' and has come up with a 'plan of action' for me. I will have to order some Chelated Potassium online bit will be able to purchase the other product recommended at my local Health Food store.

I remain optimistic that, with appropriate treatment, we will be able to prevent this lesion breaking through the skin's surface where it could do a lot of damage.

My Breast Cancer Recurrence

Although not a particularly clear picture, it does give some idea of the recurrence of my breast cancer in the soft tissue surrounding the clavicle.

'Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it.'

Ovid Quote [Ancient Roman classical Poet and Author of Metamorphoses, 43BC-17]

Although this entry is about the reason for my absence on these pages, it is also a platform for me to give thanks to those that have taken the time to contact me voicing concern at my absence. I am amazed that so many have emailed me personally, enquiring after my well being. I am indebted to you for the gift of your friendship.  Please let me say that you have become more like 'family' than my own.

To be perfectly honest, I am not really sure why it has taken me so long to organise myself to do what I love most; that is to blog. We did manage to do a road trip to Victoria for which I am very grateful. I succeeded in spending time with each of my three children and their families. On our return, I decided to act on my concerns, making an urgent appointment to see my doctor. He agreed that immediate action was necessary. The lesion on my clavicle, growing rapidly and causing the area surrounding it to become very inflamed, required treatment.

My appointment with my Radiation Oncologist did not go particularly well. I asked him if what I was looking at could have been caused by the radiation given to treat my cancer. He avoided my eyes and denied that was the reason, although his silence told me all I needed to know.

I then saw my Medical Oncologist who, once again, proved himself to be 'my kind' of doctor. He explained that what he was looking at appeared to be breast cancer recurrence in the soft tissue. He said it is not uncommon, and, although it is not usually fatal, complications can kill. Chemotherapy is not given routinely as it is not effective. Dr Van has requested another CT scan prior to seeing him on 19 May. I must admit to being slightly concerned about radiation given the number of scans undertaken over the past 5 years. My last one was in January.

Tonight I decided to seek information on possible cause and treatment of cancer recurrence in the soft tissue. I was not surprised to find that on one of the reliable Cancer Council websites, radiation given to treat breast cancer has shown to be a possible cause of recurrence in soft tissue. Naturally, the risks are greater the higher the doses of radiation given, and I was given what was considered to be the highest [safe] dose.

Where to from here? I have no idea really...

11.1.11 Celebrating Life

The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity - Seneca, Roman philosopher

 Celebrating my birthday on 11.1.11 was quite special for me. Not for any reason other than there have been times I doubted I would make it.

This beautiful Birthday Post Card was organised as a surprise. My special friend Kaz, a resident of Maine, posted this on my Facebook wall. I was overcome with emotion! It is definitely something to be printed onto canvas for framing. Thanks Kaz for this 'Memory Moment' which I will treasure all of my days

As my regular readers are aware there is a 'family history' of birth/death in the same month. Always the question to be asked 'Is this the year?'

Interestingly enough, I saw my doctor on my birthday. The discussion centered around the outcome of last week's appointment with my 'new' oncologist. Dr Sales said he felt there had to be 'just cause' for extensive testing given my situation. It was not simply about furthering the education of the medical profession. As I was unsure of what he meant, I asked him to 'please explain?' He made it clear that, given the tests were likely to show the reason for growth and increasing pain on and around the clavicle, as well as hard nodules below, there had to be treatment options available. The answer is a definite 'Yes' although my thoughts, at this time, are that 'quality' of life will always take  precedence over 'duration' of life.

As with most things, that is easy to say now. Time will tell! After all,Damian and Tyneal will present me with the gift of grandchild number 10 in June.

From This..To?

From this...

On 5th December, 2005 I entered St Vincent's Private Hospital, Darlinghurst, Sydney to have this 'monstrosity' removed. As is the case with many things in my life, my tumour, growing on the outside, was considered to be just a 'little unusual.' I felt very blessed to have been referred to Dr Paul Crea who made suitable arrangements to act expeditiously;  the tumour was growing very quickly. It went from a pimple sized spot to a growth measuring over 6cm in only weeks. It seemed to be receiving a daily dose of  some sort of 'growth hormone.'

To this...

Given the 'monstrosity' Dr Crea was working with, it came as a huge surprise to find the end result was a nice, neat incision line, which would go on to heal nicely. There is no doubt, it is the work of a 'master craftsman!'

'There is a light in this world, a healing spirit
more powerful than any darkness we may encounter.
We sometime lose sight of this force
when there is suffering, and too much pain.
Then suddenly,
the spirit will emerge
through the lives of ordinary people who hear a call
and answer in extraordinary ways.

Mother Teresa

I awoke in recovery at approximately 5pm, after nearly 4 hours of surgery. Dr Crea explained that there was an unusually high number of blood vessels to be tied off. We are fortunate to have insurance to cover the costs associated with a stay in a private hospital. What that insurance does not guarantee however, is an appropriate rooming companion. All I remember of that first night in a shared room was a constant stream of doctors, nurses and a very vocal patient; my 'companiopn,' having undergone major back surgery, was in in pain! It was 'painfully' obvious that alternative arrangements should have been made for one of us! Somehow, we both survived that first long, painful night.


Night two I did my usual 'early to bed' in anticipation of sleeping soundly. It was not to be! At 9pm my inconsiderate companion decided it was time to make her very personal phone calls. The clock ticked slowly and the phone calls seemed to go on... and on... and on. The following morning I suggested to her that the arrangements were not working for me and it was my intention to approach the nursing staff in order to ask about relocating. My room mate was appalled and suggested I do nothing; she would make every effort to be mindful of her actions in future.


My five day stay in hospital went well from then on. It surprised me to find the food was good.  I was able to 'slip' (not literally) downstairs to have my hair shampooed and dried. The coffee shop allowed me to 'grab' a coffee to be enjoyed in the sunshine. Life was good - the future looked bright! 

To the Point!

Thank you for your comments which mean so much to me. Recently I have dropped behind with my replies and, God willing, I will manage to get caught up. Please don't hold your breath, just in case! I can promise I will do my best.

The popular conception of therapy usually goes something along the lines of client, couch and therapist, coupled with a notepad and talk. Yesterday went well! Jeremy's birthday passed smoothly! Many candles were lit on his Memory-of site and I received countless personal messages, giving me a sense of being personally blessed.  This led me to Google 'Group Therapy.' According to Georgetown University Counseling and Psychiatric services, Group Therapy is a powerful venue for growth and change.The isolation of farm life, along with a degree of disability, gives me more time to think than I would like. Definitely, time to grow and time to change! Therefore, being part of a group allows me to connect with others in a similar situation. Although the circumstances of my breast cancer recurrence appear to be somewhat unique, the blogging community provides a safe forum, along with emotional support, in my daily battle. Social Networking also gives me access to a large diverse group of individuals offering warmth and providing support. This is the perfect forum to say a huge 'Thank You.'

Dr Sales yesterday checked both the rash on my eyelid and the mark on my jaw line. Thankfully, neither is cause for concern. The rash is a scratch that has become slightly infected while the spot is a skin cancer but...NOT A MELANOMA! I have always used Curaderm for Basal Cell Carcinoma treatment so will probably do the same with this one. He was however, concerned about my current level of  fatigue, as well as the results from the Doppler ultrasound, which showed a complete obstruction of the subclavian and axillary veins indicating extensive post treatment changes within the soft tissue of the right axilla.

I have an appointment with my radiation oncologist on Friday. Dr Sales has suggested I may need further testing. I am normally reluctant to undergo testing unless the symptoms suggest there is some sort of activity. I feel testing is essential at this stage, in spite of my belief that testing increases risks.. The problem could be radiation damage, tumour growth or very extensive blood clotting. Whatever it is, it is a cause for concern.

The one thing I have noticed is that when I feel well in myself I worry less about outcomes. I let my body be the barometer of the soul. As I have been feeling 'out of sorts' as well as fatigued I am 'looking for trouble.' Not a good thing!

On a lighter note, today I had a manicure and pedicure done. Not being able to do my own has become a nightmare. The nails on my right hand often look like 'claws.' I have only just located Tracey, offering a mobile service. In spite of giving explicit instructions about care being taken with cuticles etc I have been left with red, inflamed toes. I think rather than 'pushing' the cuticles back, they were 'shoved.' As you can imagine, I have been applying Tea Tree Oil all afternoon in the hope of reducing the risk of infection. Drat! There has to be a better way!

‘We cannot tell the exact moment a friendship is formed; as in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses, there is at last one that makes the heart run over’. Author unknown

The End is Near

Some time ago my friend Sue, from Eagle Reach, paid $20 to Del-Marie for four little pink Breast Cancer Bears. They are particularly cute, and I had run short when handing them out to Group 33 friends at our last Breast Cancer Support Group luncheon. The money raised goes to the National Breast Cancer Research Foundation. I was happy to purchase them knowing that funds raised go towards prevention, as well as finding a cure for cancer. A quick phone call to her today led to a full day's outing, as well as providing the opportunity for me to pay the money I owe and collect the bears. Sue had a list of 'jobs' to be done at Maitland. I decided to go along for the ride. While browsing the isles of Coles Supermarket I was delighted to pick up Acid Free Sheet Protectors. I had no idea they were available; I now have the perfect way to store those letters from the past. Whoohoo...

Although I managed to 'last the distance' with Ray, it would be dishonest of me not to admit that there were difficult times. Times that I actually thought Ray would outlive me. I wonder now just what was going through my head at those times.  Ray was 51 and would 'celebrate' another birthday on 18 March. I was not unduly worried when he was prescribed antibiotics by the doctor on Tuesday 8 March, 1994. Coincidentally, it was the very date in 1990 [four years previously] that Mum arrived in Melbourne, from Dubbo. Ray had been referred to Damien Jenson at the Alfred Hospital after a CT Scan showed a large brain tumour. He was scheduled for  neuro surgery at the Alfred Hospital on 9 March, 1990.

Fast forward four years. On 9 March, 1994, we opened the blinds in the lounge room to enjoy the early morning sun rising in the East. The day appeared perfect. Ray sat in his comfortable chair, with the sun streaming through the window warming his back, while I made his morning coffee. For the 27 years of  our marriage, Ray had taken his tea and coffee black and, for reasons I do not remember, he found he loved his coffee made with milk. He was looking forward to the pleasure of that early morning 'cuppa.'

Writing about these times brings the memories flooding back; like reminiscing on yesterday. It took no time for me to realise that there were changes going on at that moment that Ray did not understand. He had the cup to his mouth and, as he went to lower it, his actions stopped. Literally! This movement appeared to be in slow motion. The coffee cup, removed from his mouth, on the way down, only to find it stopped midway. I am unable to explain the reasons for these changes, it seemed unimportant to ask the doctor later exactly what had taken place. I know that I was alone with Jeremy, our 11 year old child,  and we had a situation that required action. I gave no thought to calling for assistance when I realised that Raymond was no longer able to do for himself. It seemed his body had simply 'shut down.' No discomfort of any kind. A cup of coffee only half drunk.This makes me smile now when I think about the saying that 'an optimist sees the glass as half full while the pessimist sees it as half empty.' This was neither; it simply was.

I asked for help from Jeremy and, together, we lifted Ray from the chair and carried him into our bedroom. There we lovingly placed him into bed. In hindsight, I could have made the bed with fresh linen but that thought did not enter my head at the time; I simply wanted Ray to be comfortable. Somewhere in my sub- conscious, maybe I was expecting him to make a recovery of sorts. It is a task I had never invisaged asking my youngest child to undertake. Ray was no longer able to communicate. It was something that, even to this day, I do not fully understand.

It was this day that we also lost a very close personal friend. I had worked with Val Crowe at GMAC and her husband Tony was Godfather to our firstborn son Damian. Val had succumbed very quickly to her pancreatic cancer.

I recall the phone call to my Mother in which I asked her to come to Newcastle. She replied that it would not be until Monday. Something made me say that I thought that would be too late. Thankfully, she agreed to catch the coach from Dubbo and would arrive Friday the 11th.

Mum's arrival gave me the freedom, and the peace of mind, to climb into bed beside Ray. I was content to stay there as the succession of family and friends called to pay there respects. Among the visitors was the local Parish Priest who administered the Last Rights. Our very dear friend Helen Staley arrived from Melbourne to stay with us. She was able to keep Jeremy occupied at this time with bike rides and movies. I will be forever grateful to her for her presence; it lightened a very heavy load. The time spent with friends was delightful as we recalled past memories and wonderful times. Close friends came and went throughout each day. I felt sure Ray was aware of everything that was said and it seemed only natural to tell tales that were uplifting.

There was one exception when Mum, wringing her hands, began crying and saying loudly that she had no idea how I would be able to manage on my own. At that particular time, Helen was holding Ray's hand, and she shared with me later that she felt him give it just the slightest squeeze. I could not help myself and asked Mum just what she meant by her words. Mum said that she did not believe I would be able to live without Ray and there is no way I could manage as a single parent. I whispered gently that it broke my heart to think that she did not know her own daughter.

On Sunday 13th Ray's breathing became very shallow. Lea Shelley, a Registered Nurse, called early after finishing a nightshift at the local private hospital. Lea's son Matthew had befriended Jeremy when we arrived in Warners Bay from Lakes Entrance. I had no idea that my darling Raymond was close to having a bedsore. Lea was absolutely amazing as she bathed Ray's body and anointed him with beautiful oils. I could not have done any of that on my own and, to be honest, was not aware of how beautiful it could be to experience a close friend tend to the body of the man you have loved for 27 years.

I was aware that I was living with a fearful headache. Apart from the odd breaks I had been alongside Ray constantly, leaving his side as little as possible. Each time I returned to the bed I became conscious that he was making some sort of super human effort to edge closer to me.

On Monday 14th March, 1994 I sat with Ray, Helen by my side, as we, once again, watched the sun rise in the East. Ray's breathing was now intermittent, and we spoke gently of times with the Radfords, Staleys and friends out of the Singapore office of International Harvester Company. We described the spectacular view of the rising sun as my beloved husband took his final breath at approximately 6.30am, just 4 days short of his 52nd birthday.

Yesterday's Appointments

Although I commenced my working life as a dental nurse, the fear of dentists, instilled in me as a child, has stayed with me. My Mother's aversion to dentists so strong that she had her own teeth replaced with dentures as a 17 year old. I have spent many hours, and lots of dollars trying to keep my own teeth. The fact that I have numerous crowns, plus a bridge, still count towards my own teeth. Rather than drive the 180 kilometre round trip to see my regular dentist, I was pleasantly surprised to find a young female dentist in this area. Dr Khan gives painless injections, and appears to have an amazing ability to find decay when there is nothing obvious. This was the case when I visited recently believing that the grape seed that managed to wedge itself into a tooth was actually a cavity. As it turned out, apparently it was stuck in a most unusual and intricate bridge. One that had originally been done in Singapore in the 70's. What she did find however, was decay in the tooth beside it.

Today's visit was to have the tooth filled. I remembered to have her note that I am taking blood thinning medications. We discussed the situation, with me explaining to her that I may well be on it for the rest of my life. Dr Khan reminded me that it is important to have my INR levels checked prior to any dental work being done. It seems that even large fillings can lead to excessive bleeding; something definitely worth remembering. She also pointed out that the dry mouth I have from the medications also puts me into the high risk category for new decay. Just what I needed to hear in my twilight years.

Next stop Calvary Mater Hospital Oncology department for a routine check-up. Dr Lombard, my regular Medical Oncologist, is on maternity leave at this time. In her absence I have been seeing her registrar, however, today it was Dr Turner, another young female doctor . The first thing she did was to compare the two PET Scans. My original and base scan, done in February and the second in July. Once again, she explained that she does not like to get patients hopes up but the improvement is absolutely amazing. I did not feel the need to explain that I am also taking a supplement used to balance hormones in post menopausal women. I will never know for sure if the results would have been as good without them and I am not about to find out. While ever I can afford them, I will continue to take them.

My regular doctor had suggested that I ask about the benefit of taking some form of blood thinning medication for life given that my current blood clot is extensive, going almost the full length of my right arm. As is my practice, I mentioned my concerns with taking Femara due to the risk of blood clotting. She immediately said that taking Femara is not an issue, it is Tamoxifen that can cause blood clots. My dilemma then was whether I should refute her statement. I stumbled to find a way to say that the leaflet enclosed with the Femara gives the warning signs of blood clots and states that if, as a patient, you suspect a problem then you should present immediately to your nearest Emergency Department. Dr Turner then asked me to be patient while she did further research. She found the information and agreed that there is indeed a slight risk. As I have said before, the fact that it is in less than 1.2% of the population means nothing if you happen to come into that group.

She then went on to say that there was a single study indicating that there could actually be a benefit for cancer patients having daily Clexane injections rather than taking warfarin tablets. I was surprised to hear that approximately 30% of cancer patients at the Mater require blood thinning medication. Seems I am only now learning that as a result of having active cancer I will always be at risk of blood clots.

Into the mixing pot I add my daily dose of Femara and Epilim; it is no wonder I have concerns.
Apart from the odd lapse, I endeavour to make the most of each day, remaining confident, and optimistic, that 'things do work out best for people who make the best of the way things work out.'

Visit to Dr Sales

How do I really feel about the necessity of regular visits to my General Practitioner? Normally I find them more of an inconvenience than anything. On a day to day basis, I still enjoy reasonably good health. Providing the unbearable nerve pain is managed, my side effects from medication are minimal. Time taken for appointments can, therefore appear to be unnecessary.

The reason that Dr Sales insists on reasonably frequent visits is probably due to the medications required for pain management. I take several medications on a daily basis. Lyrica [Pregabalin] and Epilim [Sodium Valproate] are considered to be anti convulsant, however, in my case, are used effectively for nerve pain. Oxycontin works differently. Being an opiate, it is considered to be addictive when used inappropriately. I have managed, in the past, to reduce my dosage successfully; it is not necessary therefore, for me to worry about becoming addicted. More than likely, I will be on it for life. As much as I do not like taking this particular medication, I like the pain a lot less. Fortunately, Dr Sales applies to the Commonwealth Government for an Authority which gives me one month's supply of Oxycontin [60 tablets] for the cost of 20 tablets. In dollar terms, this is $33 instead of $99. I am allowed a maximum of 1 months supply.

My pharmaceutical bill each MONTH can be anywhere between $130 and $230. There are additional costs with vitamins and supplements to overcome, in some cases, the effects of the medications. Beginning January 2010 I have been slowly working my way towards reaching the pharmaceutical Safety Net. Consequently, I now pay just a little over $5 for each prescription. Hooray!!!

On Tuesday I discussed with Dr Sales my laryngitis which has been coming and going over the past two weeks. First thing in the morning, my sputum is blood stained. Dr Sales [Milton] suggested a chest x-ray. At this point I questioned the necessity of yet another test. My fatigue is far more of a problem for me and a resolution to that would be most beneficial. That is the one thing that keeps me house bound, out of the driver's seat. As I have mentioned on numerous occasions, the isolation of life at the farm is one of my major concerns.

Thankfully, Milton has given me a request for bloods to be done. The deal being that if there is any sign of a problem with iron levels, I will undergo a chest x-ray. Further investigations may be necessary but I do not feel any sense of urgency as I recently received very good results from PET/CT Scan. He will also check B12. Low levels could be behind this constant tiredness. What I would not give to feel revitalised. Energy levels have been a problem since completing radiation in June 2009.

In a bid to increase my energy levels I have begun to use the exercise bike that has been sitting idle for some time. Guess this means I will have to become a lot more self disciplined. On the up side, I will then have more energy for blogging.

He is Special!

I had an appointment to see Dr Milton Sales yesterday.

Some months ago there was a hiccup in the bookings at the doctor's surgery. I was inadvertently booked with a doctor that I had been seeing for over ten years. I had asked to see another doctor because my original doctor had told me, on more than one occasion, that this cancer was going to kill me sooner rather than later. I felt therefore, that he was not at all interested in treating me for other issues. On one occasion he suggested the 'other' problem was the least of my worries.

There must have been a level of distress that showed. Maybe it was because I whimpered 'I cannot see Dr ?' The receptionist immediately sensed a problem and suggested she would solve it. When she approached me some 5 minutes later she asked 'Would you mind if I put you in with Dr Milton Sales' My reaction? I quickly replied that I felt like a star on a Christmas tree. I knew that Dr Sales' books had been closed for many years. He has a wonderful reputation in the Lake Macquarie region.

Dr Sales appeared to be genuinely interested in my case. This is not uncommon due to the nature of the recurrence; it is quite complex. Cancer in the brachial plexus appears to be quite rare. There has to be some PLUS in all of this. I was very happy with the consult. I was even happier when I went to pay the bill and was told that I had been Bulk Billed. Normally, I would pay $68 and then claim my Medicare rebate of just over $30. This represents a huge saving for me as an oncology patient.

While on the subject of savings, I am immensely grateful to the imaging facilities that also have a policy of Bulk Billing oncology patients. This represents a HUGE saving. Last year I had a CAT Scan along with a Bone Scan. The cost was over $900 and I received just over $400 from Medicare. Once again, a huge out of pocket expense.

So. As a way of saying 'Thank you for making a difference' I called into the florist and had them make up a bunch of iris with golden yellow gerberas in appreciation. I really wanted this very special doctor to feel my gratitude.