Friday, February 19, 2010

Medical Update

The past 10 days have been hectic and yet I have remained the farm almost daily. I have the delightful Alison and Corina that do my domestic duties each Wednesday morning. I am home all day and yet I seem to get nothing done. How can this be?

Things changed dramatically on 5 February when I found my 40mg Oxycontin tablets floating in the toilet bowl. I phoned Palliative Care. Dr Newton and the team made the decision that I would be put onto patches; there appeared to be an absorption problem which could have been related to the Dicloxacillian antibiotic that I had been taking for suspected, low grade, chronic cellulitis.

The patches went on Saturday. I discontinued taking oral Oxycontin, under medical advice, and the unbearable pain began about 3am Sunday 7th. Being the caring, considerate person that I am I stupidly waited until 9am to phone Palliative Care. I was at screaming point! By 10.30am Sally arrived and promptly gave me an injection (no questions asked.) Miraculously, the pain quickly abated.

I went onto the 24 hour pump and remained on it until yesterday when Sally arrived bearing the good news that the pump would be removed. Very nervously, I resumed taking Oxycontin at a higher dosage. It is now 3.49am Friday 19th and I have been wide awake since 2am; not actually in pain, but very unsettled!

During this period I have had every test imaginable and the results are 'sort of' in. Dr Gupta phoned Monday with the news that, although the MRI shows a marked improvement in the radiated area, the cancer is still active in the Brachial Plexus. I will learn more when I consult with him this afternoon. Hence the reason for my sleeplessness!

The days fly; daily chores take so much longer. Even the simple task of going to the toilet means I struggle to get my underpants and trousers on. I am unable to fasten them. Even when using public toilets, I am sometimes forced to ask for help. Pride has gone out the door and been replaced with humility and gratitude.

Daily visits from Palliative Care take anywhere from half an hour to two and one half hours.

I still manage to do Haydn's bookwork but I am unsure of the future. I am surprised at the rapid deterioration and loss of function. I am scared, afraid of what is in store. I cry often and laugh lots. I give thanks for my beautiful family and friends that daily express their love and appreciation for having me in their lives.

I am isolated at the farm. I am unable to drive and may never do so again. I have lost so much. The isolation that had become my prison is now my bliss.

I phoned Lillo and ordered a new computer. I asked for the biggest, brightest coloured notebook; the one that most resembles a desk top. I asked about Web Cam and Voice Activated Technology that will allow me to continue my friendships online. I am planning for the day that I am blessed to have life and yet, the degree of disability will prevent me doing things in the way I have become used to.
Have I missed anything?

Today I give thanks for the many blessings that fill my life and the peace that fills my heart.


Anonymous said...

Hey Chez,
You have and still are going thru so much but finally getting some answer that had to come from you. You are one amazing lady that has endure so much and always you look at the brighter side. Your one gorgeous lady that i treasure to call a friend and be in my life,you teach me everyday.
Chez you know my humar and you say u need help in the public bathrooms,go to the men's room..LOL..Sorry joke.

Chez do i need to move so i can be your sidekick,hmmmm i would help u all the way.. SENDING LOTS OF GENTLE HUGS AND MANY PRAYERS.

Debby said...

I think that you're doing all that you can do. You're looking things directly in the eye and doing what needs to be done to insure your best quality of life. I'm proud of your practicality. (Except for the whole waiting until 9 to call palliative care. That wasn't so practical, so don't do that anymore. :^D)

Chez said...

Oh Kaz, I give thanks every day that I call you my friend. We laugh together and cry together and how lmuch easier my life is because you have become such a huge part of it.
Yes! You can come and be my side-kick. H can buy the lottery tickets that will allow you to visit.
Love the men's locker bit; worth a try. For sure!
Take care my beutiful friend....

Chez said...

Debby, I am so glad that we found each other.
Your email yesterday delighted me, just as your blog provides insights and love.
Thankfully, both H and I are, by nature,practical people.
I have given the reigns to God -very freeing.
Take care my new friend

Diane Rodgers said...

"Today I give thanks for the many blessings that fill my life and the peace that fills my heart."...
These beautiful words you have written, Cheryl... well... they say it all about the WONDROUS person that you are! Your life has been filled with hardships of every kind, and yet you still see the good in the world and those who surround you with so much love!
You have taught us all so many lessons in life ... We have been drawn to you from the moment we first met you ... at least I have.
When you shared how hard it is for you in the public brought back the 10 and 1/2 months I took care of my best friend ... We spent a lot of time in the bathrooms together as June wanted to be out and about and live her last days doing what she loved. So we happily took her where ever she wanted to go! She was also humbled and so grateful for those of us who loved her so much. It was my honor to spend those precious times with her, caring for her and enjoying the many good times and laughs we shared together. I admire your spirit...You and June...always making your friends so happy that you chose us to be your friend.
I want to thank you now...for allowing me to come into your life, as you have made my life so much richer for knowing you.
May God continue to bless you and keep you my dear friend...
With love always,
Di ♥

mandy said...

Not surprised that I find you thinking of others before yourself Cheryl....
I can only imagine the difficulties you face on a daily basis and admire you for taking a positive outlook on everything that has happened to you in life...If it was me I believe I would be a dribbling mess by now...You give me so much strength Chez reading your entries and I would personally like to thank you for that....
I hope that the rest of the results are positive for you and that the light at the end of the tunnel is much brighter for

Judy Britt said...

Dear Cheryl,
I can only pray that I meet my

difficulties with as much grace,

dignity, humility, & humor,

as you have, my friend.

God bless you Cheryl.

P.S. Let me know how the men's room thing works out... lol

Love & hugs,

diane said...

You are such an ispiration. So sick but still giving thanks and being happy with your lot. I hope the pain stays away and you can continue to visit the outside world on your computer. Hugs and hopes.

Daria said...

Thinking of you Chez ...