Is there light at the end of this tunnel?

Kookaburra picture courtesy of Wikipedia

On Thursday of last week I sat in the office of my GP feeling worn out and tired. My spirits lifted when I learned that my doctor was doing a Letter of Referral to Dr Michael Katekar. Dr Katekar, a Consultant Neurologist, had me admitted to hospital in 1998 where it was determined that I had a mass abutting the right hand side of the pelvic wall. The mass was irritating the obturator nerve causing severe neuralgic pain. At one point I was taking over 150 mgs a day of oral morphine.

Dr Desouza explained that he would fax the Referral to Dr Katekar who would determine the degree of urgency and have his receptionist phone me with appointment details. Silly me! I expected to hear from them immediately; I sat by the phone. On Monday morning, after yet another sleepless night, I felt the need to take some responsibility. I phoned Dr Katekar's surgery. My enquiry drew a blank although I did receive confirmation that my name was there. Patience needed here.

On Wednesday evening I stood outside, taking in the beauty of the countryside, and the freshness of the air after 175 ml of rain which had bucketed down in just 48 hours. Enjoying the stillness, I smiled when I heard the call of the kookaburra, observing that the sound had come from the meter box beside the house.

I immediately took my copy of Animal Dreaming to a quiet spot where I read what Scott Alexander King had to say about the symbolic and spiritual language of the Australian Kookaburra.

The message is clear; time is right for me to take responsibility for my own healing, including the release of pent-up pain, confusion and resentment which could be very confronting. There is an alternative to this internal suffering. Kookaburra is calling for me to probe deeper than the superficial laughter, to awaken to my inner truth and the dawning of a new day. Kookaburra is Spirits way of restoring faith in my quest for personal healing.

I was not at all surprised to find the following morning there was a phone call from Dr Katekar's office to say that an appointment had been made for 9.45am this morning, Friday 3 April.

The nerve conduction study clearly showed the severe damage to the nerves in the wrist. Ah! Ah! Carpal Tunnel explains the pins and needles, loss of strength and problems with the three middle fingers on the right hand.

And there's more. Dr Katekar then began sticking needles into my arm, turning the dial to increase the nerve stimulation. Help! I have been conditioned never to allow anyone to put needles into my lymphoedema arm post mastectomy. My paranoia now apparent as I began to breathe deeply, knowing that my priority is to find the reason for this pain that keeps me awake at nights, away from my friends and requiring regular morphine just to get out of bed each day.

Dr Katekar quickly pointed out that there appeared to be another problem. The index and little finger on the right hand behaving differently to those on the left hand. He recommended an MRI of the cervical spine and brachial plexus, pointing out that he was obliged to tell me that there is possibly a recurrence of the breast cancer in the axillary region.

At best, there could be a simple problem in the nexk. At worst, the lumps that have appeared above the original incision could be a recurrence.

I acknowledged his comment understanding only too well that the journey continues.

I phoned Hunter Imaging to make the appointment and learned that Dr Katekar had already made contact. He apparently explained that the test was a matter of urgency. Earliest available appointments were 6th and 7th May! The receptionist was delightful and said that they would look at rearranging some appointment to get me in ASAP.

Once again, I am bemused to learn that the appointments are made for consecutive days as Medicare will not pay if they are done on the same day. No problem! Do we care that it is 180 km round trip for us to make our way to Cardiff and return which means Haydn giving up his days also as I do not drive while taking the 40 mg of Oxycontin night and morning.

Life goes on..