Sunday, July 10, 2011


‘To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing’ – Author Unknown

I have just come from reading a Post by Nolly Posh (aka Vicki @ on the subject of IRE Nanoknife. Thank you Vicki; this has given me new hope.  Apparently, this treatment, which can be performed on soft tissue cancers, is being utilised at the Alfred Hospital in Melbourne.

That in itself brings back memories. In March 1990 my late husband Raymond was admitted to the Alfred where he was diagnosed with a brain tumour. After more than 7 hours in surgery, his neurologist came out and broke the news. His words! 'This is very serious!' It was! At 48 years of age Ray was paralysed completely down the left side. At that time, we owned and operated, the Lakes Entrance Squash and Fitness Centre. Eldest son Damian was left in charge of the Centre, with help from a special friend Marianne Hocking. Jeremy, who was only 8, was 'off loaded' to an amazing family. The Allen family looked after him as one of their own. It is times like that you feel truly blessed to have such amazing friends.

Unfortunately, at that time it was determined that Ray also had a tumour on the lung. It was necessary for him to undergo intensive rehabilitation before he became a candidate to surgically remove the lesion on the lung. We were transported daily, by ambulance, from the Alfred to the Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre for Ray to undergo radiotherapy. The facilities were 'amazing' (there we go again with THAT word) in that they provided accommodation at all times which enabled me to be with Raymond 24/7. We were truly blessed to have a Cardio Thoracic Registrar on the ward that advised me to take Raymond home two weeks post op. Fortunately, he recognised that Ray was at risk of depression which could possibly have kept him there for an extended period of time. I remember the fear I felt as we left the hospital. Ray was only just out of the wheelchair. I need not have worried. As we drove through the Latrobe Valley, heading for Lakes Entrance, we stopped for coffee. From that moment Ray's condition improved. We were going home, after 18 weeks. The family would be waiting; we would be together again.

This post did not quite go in the direction in which I intended, however, it does give you a little more insight into my 'decision making' process. Either Ray or I have been on the 'cancer' journey since 1978. He lost his battle in 1994. I had a melanoma removed in 1996. With the exception of 2 years, either he or I have had cancer. I don't see,, or hear the fat lady

Tomorrow, I will be ringing my Breast Care co-ordinator to relay this latest information, in the belief that I will be well informed. Better able to make decisions that will do more good than harm. There has to be a way than chemotherapy.


Kaz said...

Chez the quote is so true and you know my feelings here.

Chez just reading your words can feel what u have gone thru and the love that you and Ray had/ glad you had a good family to watch over Jezz so you could be with Ray.

So hope this is the answer for you as i know how you feel on the other treatment.gentle hugs from my arms around you.always always in my heart my friend.

Love Kaz.xo

nollyposh said...

Isn't bloggy worlde so wonderful that by sharing our stories we sometimes get to help each other, i LOVE that! My dad (now in Spirit)also spent some time in The Alfred & funny enough his favorite holiday destination was Lakes Entrance! X:-) Brave girl let us keep on keeping on xox said...

I watched my first husband die of cancer as well. Your husband responded to family. Mine withdrew into himself, nearly refusing to communicate with anyone. It's a long hard road we're on, my darling. I'm sorry your road is such a bumpy one.


rama said...

You have come a long way, lost so many dear ones, and survived all the trauma, you are an example to people to not to give up on life. You stories about your life is really inspiring. There must be a way out for your problems, and we pray everyday that you have found the answers. Be well, wish you all the happiness in life.

Cheryl said...

Kaz know you are always with me my sweet friend. Your friendship has always meant the world, as you know.
Yes! These are difficult days and yet I feel there will be a solution as every problem has one.
Love and friendship always♥

Cheryl said...

Vicki your words on this world of 'virtual' friends is so true. It does open doors! I often feel that finding the solution to my problems is up to me and this is it.
Interestingly, you came into my life through Diana Doyle and she has family in that area. I now live in NSW but 2 of my children are still in Victoria.
Thank you so much for your help. You are a treasure♥ and I am so grateful to you lovely lady xo

Cheryl said...

Precious Brenda, I am so sorry to hear that your first husband cut people out of his life. It must have been so very difficult for you.
I often feel that Haydn has already put the wall up. He is not going to get hurt again although I cannot believe that he looks at this 'thing' growing on me daily and accepts it. I believe I am very fortunate!
Although I do not get to comment on your posts as often as I would like, you are always with me in thoughts.
Thank you for making a difference special lady♥

Cheryl said...

Thank you Rama. It is interesting! It seems have endured much in my life with the loss of my father when I was just 12 years of age. Haydn's nephew says we are both 'Case Hardened' and I think he is right! This can be a cold, cruel world and yet there is always light to be experienced. Love my 'virtual' friends who bring joy and happiness to my life.
Love and thanks always my friend xo

nancyspoint said...

Chez, I am so moved by this post. Hearing that you have lived with the cancer beast for so many years is so darn unfair. But going there is a waste of time and energy isn't it? Thanks for sharing more about Ray. I'm hopeful for the new treatment option you speak of... Keep us posted.