Monday, September 26, 2011

Message from Paul


'We don't accomplish anything in this world alone... and whatever happens is the result of the whole tapestry of one's life and all the weavings of individual threads from one to another that creates something.'
- Sandra Day O'Connor

At a time that I want desperately to write, I simply find I do not have the energy. Never before have I experienced fatigue like I live with now. The lymphoedema of my right arm has become a serious problem! I am due to see the physiotherapist at the hospital on Wednesdday and, although I know there will be benefits, a one hour consultation is not sufficient time to correct a condition that is rapidly deteriorating. I spend day after day sitting and staring into space thinking of things other than the pain

At the time of my breast cancer diagnosis, I was advised of the work of a Bio Chemist who had successfully treated many cancer patients. I decided to pay P a visit and was impressed when he spoke of correcting my underlying body chemistry. That made sense to me! Unfortunately, during treatment P received adverse publicity and was banned from continuing to practise as a bio chemist. We remained in contact.

My condition has left me with little energy for those close to me; even less for friends and acquaintances further down the list. Yesterday I received a message from P asking me to ring him today as well as enquiring after my health. P reminded me that we share a friendship that will weather any storm. I was touched!

Today I called bio-chemist P. We discussed my condition, which gave me the opportunity to tell him that life is difficult. I can see no doors opening for me. No way of reclaiming my life; giving back some of the quality that has disappeared. I appreciated P's response when he said 'We are not giving up! You have been a thread in the tapestry of my life for too many years. I do not want a hole.'

It seems I am overcome by the frustrations of ongoing health problems. I am looking for release from the pain. There has to be a solution!

At a time that I so desperately need the benefits of your response dear friends, I find myself struggling to do my own posts, or even to read and comment on yours which is heartbreaking for me.


10 comments:

Kaz said...

Chez,glad you have talked with Paul again,he cares and i know what talking with him means to you.tears tears here as i wish i had that magic wand to heal you or at least give you some relief.

Tons of hugs and loads of love always.

Kaz.xo

Sue in Italia/In the Land Of Cancer said...

Dear Cheryl
I hope they will find some way to restore your energy and relieve the lymphedema. I hope P lives nearby so he can visit and help you.
Thinking of you.

Diana Doyle said...

Sending love Chez and hoping your energy levels get topped up from all the love your family and friends shower you with...especially those of us here in blogger world.

Hoping as your body adjusts you will feel more like yourself.

thinking of you
Diana x

My Cancer Scoreboard said...

Take care of YOURSELF, don't let it break your heart. All of us cancer fighters understand we have our ups and downs, and at times, it's just not possible to do it all. I know I can't do all of the things I used to be able to do, and yes, sometimes it is heartbreaking, but it's life, and we're still living. I came across your blog and you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you get your energy back and can get back to doing some of the things you love to do. Thinking of you!
Stacy

BreastCancerSisterhood.com said...

Chez,
Our hearts are breaking for you as well. I know you are looking and hoping for release from your pain and your cancer, and I want that for you as well. My prayers are with you.

Love,
Brenda

Cheryl said...

Sue, Paul does not live nearby, however, he is always at the end of the phone and he is very, very supportive and is loaded with information.
Guess I will start chemo on Tuesday in the hope it will ease the pain and slow the growth. Both problematic!
Thanks for sharing the journey..

Cheryl said...

Thank you so much for your care and concern Stacy. Yes, this can be a rough road and, thanks mainly to fellow bloggers,we learn so much of the 'ups and downs' of our friends. Just when I think I have to deal with more than humanly possible, I come across someone in a much worse situation.
Thanks for dropping by. Will keep in touch Chez..

rama said...

Sending you love and energy. You will definitely find not one but several doors opening for you, and you have everyone of your friends wishing that for you. Be strong, and it is okay if you are not able to read our blogs or comment.
Take care, and do things that are important for you.
Love, Rama.

nancyspoint said...

Chez, I feel helpless here. Don't worry about writing posts, reading posts or commenting on posts. Concentrate on taking care of yourself. You will write when you feel up to it. Did you start chemo then? I hate that you have such a tough road. I'm out here sending good thoughts and wishes your way. I'll be thinking of you even when I'm not hearing from you. Lots of us are. I hope that helps a little.

Sean said...

Hoping that with your determination, Paul's knowledge and our prayers, a solution is soon found.
We feel helpless but we are doing exactly what we should be doing...praying. God please bless Cheryl with healing and relief from her pain.