Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Love is the Answer

I am frustrated that I have been unable to purchase good second hand book shelves since moving to the farm. It probably has something to do with the fact that book lovers like to keep their books and, of course, their bookshelves.

Yesterday while looking through the pile of books sitting on the floor I was drawn to my copy of 'The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav.' I have not read the book yet I found it interesting that I opened it to a chapter on Psychology. It states that Psychology means soul knowledge or the study of the spirit.

Given that I am still taking Oxycontin twice per day for the intense pain that has been my constant companion for months I read on through the few pages. I remembered recently that David, my local hypnotherapist had mentioned that we are emotional, physical and spiritual beings and for complete healing it might be wise to address the pain on these levels.
I understand from the book that the experience of pain, coupled with an understanding that pain, serves a worthy purpose. As I read that suffering in meaningful I questioned the purpose.
I wondered if there could be any truth in the statement that suffering can be endured because it is necessary for the evolution of our soul?
I believe that we are spirits having a human experience. I do not see death as 'the end.' Surely there must be some other way to learn the lessons. I do not believe it has to be this painful!
The lessons came hard and fast as I read that if you are unkind to yourself you will, in turn, be unkind to others. By neglecting myself could I possibly be treating others in the same manner?
Was I truly able to feel compassion for myself and compassion for others?
I quote the following in the knowledge that, for me, it is of utmost importance.
'If you cannot love yourself, you cannot love others and you cannot stand to see others loved. If you cannot treat your own self kindly you will resent that treatment when you see it in anyone else. If you cannot love yourself loving others becomes a very painful endeavour with only occasional moments of comfort. In other words, loving others, or how you treat yourself, is your own dose of your own medicine that you really give to others at the same time.'
There was a time recently that I became aware that I had put myself in my current situation. As I was walking down the drive at the farm, literally screaming in pain, I said to myself 'You have done this to yourself.' It was a light globe moment for me.
I was so sure that I had always shown unconditional love for Jeremy. His passing leaft me in a state of utter disbelief and grief. Although he remained with me in essence, I no longer had the joy of physical contact.
I began to think about the love that I had felt and expressed so readily and easily. There was never a conversation that did not end 'Love you Sunshine.' He shared with me that he always felt that I loved him unconditionally.
Of course, I began to look at the way I had abused my body over the two years since his passing. Drinking far too much coffee and not eating correctly has taken its toll. Given that I have lived with cancer since 1996 I knew, with absolute certainty, that in order to love others in the way I proclaimed to, then I had first to apply the principal to myself.
It is with a clear vision that I choose healthy food knowing that food is to be my medicine.


Diane Rodgers said...

The Lord does give us more than we can handle, it is temptation that He will give us a way out when it becomes too overbearing. I hear people say “God won’t give you more than you can handle”. No that isn’t correct, yes He will. Let me give you too verses to explain this.

The Lord cannot tempt us but he can allow Satan to tempt us so that our faith will be strengthened. God sets limits on the severity of temptation that Satan is allowed to do to each of us.

1 Corinthians 10:13 “And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”

Temptation can come in many forms. Temptation can come in forms of greed, sexual immorality and many other things that would make you fall if that temptation took root. Now let’s look at the trials of life.

2 Corinthians 1:8-10 “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves, but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us.”

On November 29, 1992 at 7:00pm I had had enough. I was way beyond my ability to endure. I had often thought that it would be better to be dead than to keep experiencing failure at every turn. I had tried almost everything under the sun to bring me joy and it ended up as trash. But this is exactly where God wanted me. Since we have a free will God can only bring us so far. It is us who have to say “UNCLE”; I give up and give it over. That night I had had it. But that night God finally had me for eternity. That night I was saved by the grace of God. He allowed me to experience things way beyond my ability to endure so that I KNEW there was no power in me except the power of Jesus.

Where are you on this journey? Are you still trying to be the captain of your ship, the master of your destiny? Even if you are a believer sometimes we don’t live as one in the faith. We may give over to God 90% of what we have but keep another 10% to ourselves. That other 10% may be money, worry, selfish ambitions or pride. God wants it all because


The apostle Paul is someone I want to meet when I get to heaven. He used to persecute Christians and then God got a hold of him on the road to Damascus and his life was never the same. He didn’t wait to learn the Gospel to go out and evangelize he just went. He knew the power of the cross. But Jesus did say to Paul that he would suffer for Jesus name. We have seen a lot of suicides lately from young to old. I am sure most of these people felt as Paul but didn’t have the hope that Paul had.

“we despaired even of life. Indeed in our hearts we felt the sentence of death”

God wants us to come to Him. He wants us to be so overburdened that we have no where to go but to jump into his arms. When we think we can handle this life ourselves we are treading in dangerous waters. It isn’t if we fall it is WHEN we fall.

Today give it ALL over to the Lord. Then your joy will be complete.

Have a great day.


Hi Cheryl,
After I read your blog here today I remembered I had read this early today... it hit me for all of us...maybe there is something in here that will help you also.
Love to you my dear friend, today tomorrow and always,

Chez said...

My precious friend I have experienced the power of prayer first hand. I will write more on your comment a little later. I am waiting for the pain killers to 'kick in'
I am enthralled with the spirituality and faith in the words of Obama this morning.
God Bless America

diane said...

It is true you should feel good about yourself, love yourself. You have endures much and getting on with life you should be proud of yourself. I don't believe you deserve any pain. My old doctor reckons no one needs to endure pain and that all pain can be managed! Luckily I've never had to put his theory to the test.
Take care.

Chez said...

Diane, once again, let me say how sorry I am that you have endured the pain of the loss of your brother. I loved your Tribute...

I find it interesting that we sometimes feel we have endured so much only to find in our friendships that others have had to cope with so much. I believe that I am actually a more loving, compassionate person because of my experiences.

I have wonderful friends that comfort and support me like never before.

Live life, laugh and love

Susan Stoner said...

Good Morning my sweet friend. I too have the book, Seat of the soul by Gary. I've had the book for years now and often return to it. I have read so much since Kurt went home and will continue to read until I somewhat understand life and my purpose in it. Know that I am always thinking of you and praying for you my sweet friend. I love you and Jeremy so much. xxoo

Chez said...

Susan I am overjoyed to find that you have visited. You inspire me to continue to write knowing that there are readers.
I have not done as many entries as I would like due to the current health crisis.
I am currently on morphine and we can find no reason for the problem. Prayer keeps me safe but the cost of medical is killing me.
I have made better choices with my food and no coffe and yet I am still in pain. I am looking for something else.
Have lovely Angel Family friends that follow me and offer support. I feel truly blessed.
Welcome aboard by friend. Wonder how you are going these days?

Susan said...

Good Morning sweetheart. I have been doing some research and found that there is a product called hgh, (human growth hormone). I have emphysema and was researching herbs for it and came across hgh. I'll send you some info in an email to you. Also collidial silver is a great product. Know you are in my prayers always. I'll keep researching products for you my earth angel.
I'm doing better every day. I pray alot and talk to Kurt all day. I look forward to going home and being with God and Kurt and all the love Heaven has to offer. My heart is there. Love you my friend

Susan said...

Forget the last post about hgh..I've done more research and found that there are too many side affects. I still believe very strongly in herbs. xxoo

Chez said...

Susan, it is so sweet of you to research and offer help. I will take everything that you can throw at me as I am determined to overcome this myself. I have just come on to do a Post which you will probably find interesting.
I feel completely surrounded by love and amazing friendships for possibly the first time in my life I am allowing others to be my strength as I struggle.
I am so pleased to hear that you are gaining strength. I will always be grateful to you for the graphics you did so lovingly for Jezz. You were there at a time that I knew no one and had no idea how to improve the appearance of Jeremy's Memory-of site.
You will find other amazing Angel Mum's here. I gain my strength from here and Facebook.
Welcome my friend. This is my Spiritual/Health site where we all have the opportunity to learn to live our lives in a more meaningful way..
God Bless xox

Susan said...

My sweet friend...We all love you very much and will do everything in our power to help you regain your health, with the most powerful by your side, and the love of all your friends, you are sure to win this battle. I work for a very well known herbalist and together she and I will help you.
I have not stopped completely making graphics for our wonderful angels, in fact bought a new graphics program, unfortunately I am working on my computer now and it is way to slow to make graphics, so when I get the other one back, I will continue to make new graphics for our angels. Right now just keep focusing on your health and keep smiling knowing you are a very strong woman who I admire so very much. My love to you today and always.
Love you my earth angel friend.