Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Boxing Day Traditions


This Post was to be on Boxing Day Traditions however, after working on it for two days, I have deleted my work. My heart is heavy and it is not coming together.

My eldest son Damian, new wife Tyneal and Jascha were here for Christmas. Back in September when Damian made the decision to fly in on 22nd, giving me the opportunity to share in the celebration of Jaschas' 13th birthday, I was elated. We had been together for Jaschas' 10th birthday in 2007. It was the year after Jeremy's accident and we shared accommodation and visited the theme parks which are on the Gold Coast in Queensland.  In spite of my broken heart we had a wonderful time, just as we always do when we are together.

It has always been a family joke that I refer to Damian as 'My Damian.' The 'accepted' thing has been  that Damian would be there for me in 'old' age should it be needed. He has regularly spoken about  using it as a reason to get a home with a granny flat. Ha! Ha! When Damian and family flew out Boxing Day I could not help but think how true the saying 'Have a daughter, have her for life, have a son until he takes a wife' is. My beautiful Damian appears to have become intolerant of his Mother. I simply cannot believe it! Any thoughts that I may have had about moving closer have now been put to rest. I am in shock! I feel as if I have lost both my boys!

So, on a brighter note, I wish to announce that the little wrens have returned to our garden. This picture is courtesy of the WWW.
Australian Fairy Wrens.
It is through my research as a blogger that I have learned that Boxing Day (St Stephen's Day) in Ireland is also also referred to as 'The Day of the Wren.' It seems to be symbolic that the little wrens (Malurus cyaneus)  appear annually about this time and disappear towards the end of March. According to the Fact Sheet... 'Male Superb Fairy-wrens have been labelled as 'the least faithful birds in the world'. Females may be courted by up to 13 males in half an hour, and 76% of young are sired by males from outside the social group.' The wrens appear to be here to breed; I intend to enjoy both the sight and the sound of these little birds as they scurry along the ground looking for insects etc.


19 comments:

Kaz said...

Chezzy,big big hugs and all i will say here is wish i had a magic wand would use it for you..

Love Kaz.xo

Chez said...

Kaz LOL xo think it is called LIFE my friend. And! To think there is more....

stonepost said...

Chez, I am so sorry! Maybe your son and his wife have other things on their mind. Sometimes we become single focused. It is my experience that how a son treats his mother so will he treat his wife. She should be careful of what she is cooking. Never mind, never mind all of it. 2011 will be a better year, I know it will.

nancyspoint said...

Chez, Sorry to hear you feel you have lost two sons now. I agree with WS above, perhaps they are temporarily preoccupied with their lives. That is a common thing with children, actually with all of us. Enjoy watching those wrens. Nature can be very theraputic. I hope 2011 brings happier days for you, Chez.

Alli said...

Chez
It may be nothing about you and something going on in his immediate situation.

Or possibly jumping to the wrong conclusions. Sometimes stuff happens. That he might not want to burden you with knowing you have enough on your plate now. Don't write anyone off my dear.
Love Alli...we will talk soon hopefully.XXOO

Diane Rodgers said...

Hi Cheryl,
My heart is hurting for you after reading your post this morning. I don't know what happened to make you feel this way with your Damian....but....I have experienced this also with my Todd and when looking back at the different times I also felt this way...it is natural for them to be different since marrying and becoming who they are meant to be.

They still love their Moms very much...just the order of things has changed...they now have to take on their role as husband and father...head of their new family.... our little boys are now grown men and it is their place to have the wife come first...He will learn how to do it better as time goes on...Please give him that time to learn how to deal with his new family and his original family. He loves you very much...

In the meantime please enjoy your little wrens...nothing like nature to soften the heart and fill you with wonder...

Love you my dear friend,
Di
xox

Chez said...

StonePost 'Yes' they do have other things on their mind. Tyneal is expecting their first child together. Seems to be so much more going on though. Damian is very much like his Dad who was a loving, caring and beautiful soul. Tyneal has a 'gem' and her friends tell her he is too good for her.
Hey where is my reason to smile? You always get me smiling. 2011 will be better because I intend to make it that way. Thanks so much..

Chez said...

Thanks Nancy. Guess I am feeling the effects of all that has gone on during the year. I am apparently one of those Mums who wants so much more for her son. I really do have to 'bite my tongue' and enjoy nature at its best. My thanks for your support xo

Chez said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chez said...

Diane, I know you are right. This is not about Damian's love, or lack of, love for me. It is so much more and I have to 'butt out.' Damian does not ask for, or need my help. My 'job' is to make the most of my own life and to realise he has his own journey.
I have always been so very grateful to have Damian as my son and that will not change.
Guess this is the 'let down' after all the hard work of Christmas.
Time to put it behind me and move forward into better and brighter things in 2011. My thanks dear friend xo

Chez said...

Kaz, just letting you know I am thinking of you sweet friend. Your Christmas card arrived Christmas Eve. Hope Altiyan arrives in your Post Box soon. Lots of love sweet friend xo

Starry said...

Oh Chez, my heart aches for you, but I am reminded that the times I have lived furthest from my parents, the harder it was when we came together... as though not being used to being around each other made us unable to cope with simple pleasant conversation... it was always snapping and bickering and maybe even storming out. Still even if you logically know this, it doesn't erase the pain and disappointment, I'm sorry you have had this experience and are faced with the lonely thoughts afterwards.
I hope you know you can always come west.
Love and consolation, xoxoxox Starry

julie said...

Sorry the visit with your Damian was not all you wanted. Hopefully this is simply temporary (I know I've certainly had big ups & downs with my parents over the years, but I do adore them).

And I love that the wrens have come.

Chez said...

Thank you Starry. Although there were no words said, it just seemed that there was a 'missing' link. Am I simply becoming too sensitive? Are my expectations too high? Who knows if I imagined it. I do know that I must stop dwelling on it and move forward ready to grab life with both hands in 2011.
The west is a very real possibility my friend. Wondering about Roman. Any change? Will check your fb later xo

Chez said...

Julie, maybe I wanted it to be different as my life is so uncertain. As this is the way it is I will give thanks for that. Thanks for the reminder. Guess it is not about his love for me. He just appeared to be impatient for some reason. Not like him.
The wrens are magic and I am reminded that it is special that they arrive around The Day of the Wren.
Time to go see what you have been up to..

Paul C said...

I like that, the day of the wren. They provide a lot of happiness around our yard in nesting season.

Sean said...

Cheryl, it makes me sad to hear how things went this Christmas with Damian. There is already a great deal to shoulder through your holiday season without having any weight added. Perhaps expectations, stresses or a few misplaced words are more to blame than the quote you cited. He is still 'your' Damian, your rock...and he will never desert you.

Chez said...

Paul, we do have extremely hot conditions at the moment. Must ensure the bird bath is always filled; it does tend to dry out quickly.

Chez said...

Sean, as I reply I think I have an idea of what may be behind it. I will probably make mention of it in another post. I have always felt particularly close to Damian. Like his Dad, everyone loves him! He does have a desirable disposition! We laugh that he is grateful he is more like his Dad than his Mum. What does that mean?
Thanks for stopping by my friend.