Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Thank You for Holding my Hand

'When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.'
- Henri Nouwen

I have chosen this quote simply because it expresses how I feel 'at this time.' To those of you who hold my hand on this journey, you have my love and gratitude. I have learnt that it requires sensitivity and caring and is certainly your gift to me. Advice can serve no purpose at this time.

Today began with my monthly doctor's appointment. Yet again I left the Practice giving thanks for the day that Dr S became my Medical Practitioner. I could feel the sadness in him as he went about filling in forms that will allow free access to physiotherapy treatments for lymphatic drainage and also a request for ongoing Psycho Oncology services with Cath.  Dr S's facial expression, when he checked my wound, said it all. My Community Nurse had suggested I ask for his opinion on a nasty vein in the area. Her concern is that it may burst and, being on warfarin, could be frightening for me. Knowing what may happen allows me feel more comfortable. Dr S is now trying to keep me one step ahead of the pain by providing suitable pain medications. He has also suggested fortnightly visits, or more often if necessary.

From there it was off to see my Bowen Therapist who worked solely on lymphatic drainage which she has never done before. She estimated that my arm could contain as much as two to three kilos of extra fluid. I would say that is quite possible. I weighed myself this morning and my weight had 'shot up' three kilos in just over one week. It happened so easily. The treatment has certainly stirred things up; I have had to 'go within,' replacing pain with joy since the treatment. It is interesting to note the way the fluid has moved out of some areas. Instead of living with a swollen, lymphoedema limb, I now have a right arm that has ridges, lumps and dents. I am normally very careful when having manual lymphatic drainage as I did develop cellulitis on one occasion, post treatment. I normally see a therapist at the hospital, however, she has been away for a month and the next available appointment is the end of September; I simply could not wait that long. Dr S has suggested another physiotherapy practice, hence the Referral which will give me five free treatments.

Tomorrow we have another trip to Newcastle; it will allow me to keep my Psycho Oncology appointment. At times like this that I can see real benefits in relocating. Going back to town sounds like a plan. Dr S suggested it today and it is something that definitely deserves consideration. This is one of those times that I would like nothing more than for my daughter in Victoria to be well enough for us to spend lots of time together.


Kaz said...

Chez this post touches me alot.always here to hold your hand and give you giant hugs.will talk to you soon.you are one of the strongest person I know.

Love Always Kaz.xo

Sean said...

Hoping and praying for you whatever makes you the most comfortable, brings you the most happiness and gives you the most peace my dear and inspiring friend.

Beth L. Gainer said...


It all sounds so intense. Sending my love from halfway across the world.

Sue in Italia/In the Land Of Cancer said...

I do like your quote Cheryl. So many of us would like to fix what it wrong with all sorts of 'should' statements but it is probably more useful to listen and be there.

2-3 kilos of excess fluid sounds awful. How far is Newcastle from your farm?

Diane Rodgers said...

Sending love,hugs and prayers to you dear friend...I pray for you to be healed ...I pray for you to be with your family as I know it is what you want and need the most...I know you will and are making all of the right choices for your life .... God will guide you and lead the way ...I admire you so very much, Cheryl and feel so blessed to be a small part of your life. I want to thank you for coming into my life ...

With love as always, Di xox

Cheryl said...

Sue, I have learned that kindness, and honesty, can only be expected from the strong. At this time, it is very beneficial.
There is a lot of fluid and I discovered during treatment yesterday, that my therapist will be travelling Europe for three months. Unfortunately, she has put nothing in place for those of us relying on her skills.

artistdeb said...

All I can do Cheryl is send my love.

David Haas said...

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Alli said...

Cheryl if she is traveling to Europe for 3 months then pack your bags we'll meet up in Paris Lol I am so glad you have the Lymphodema drainage therapy It can make such a huge difference with that excess fluid gone. I need to find one here too. You know my thoughts no need to repeat them :) Talk soon
Love always Alli XX