Thursday, October 7, 2010

R U OK? Day

"R U OK? is an independent, not-for-profit organisation whose purpose is to provide national focus and leadership for ending suicide. Let's empower as many people as possible to make a difference, encourage open and honest communication and drive real connection.

Thursday 7 October is a national day of action to reduce suicide. Although it is geared around Australians, it applies the world over. Today we can make a choice to connect with people in our life and ask 'Are you OK?'

Although I feel strongly that it is not my place to discuss circumstances, I can tell you that I know first hand of the difficulties of marrying into a family that lost a wife and mother through suicide. I have found it extremely difficult to find the words, or actions to provide comfort for Haydn and his family. Haydn says very little about his first wife, but I can say that it seems feelings of guilt penetrate every fibre of his being. There is a huge part of him that has 'shut down.' Through Jeremy's memorial website I have met families from all walks of life that have lost family members to suicide. There appears to be little that can be said to comfort. I have found it works best for me to give them every opportunity to open up and talk about the person they have loved and lost. We all like to be heard.

There is much more I would like to say about the subject but today is not the day. I will resume the story at a later time. Maybe even ask permission from my stepdaughter to include just a little about what it was like to have to live with the 'Stepmother from hell.'

Today I ask you to consider those around you; reach out in support and friendship. I ask you 'Are You OK?'


Starry said...

Chez, I have just taken the time to catch up on your letter from your mum posts. I have long considered your own feelings about your situation and having to surrender your precious daughter to the care of others, but to see your mum's thoughts and feelings gives me a new empathy for you all.
I also think today's post is very important and I hope will help many people.

your words touch so many people, bless you.

Alli said...

Suicide is such an ugly word in our vocabulary. I personally know a few people who chose this way rather than see if they could get help through other means.Desperation, hoplessness can impact a person to such a degree sometimes even outside help can't help any longer. Whether it was planned or the knowing if you continue on a path is "Slow suicide"
We are the ones left behind trying to understand "Why"!
We just don't get it and carry the guilt.

Alli xx