Progress Report on Ness

The above picture is one that Ness sent to me shortly after Jeremy's accident and I feel it is perfect for this Post.

In my haste to do my Post last night I completely omitted to give you news on Ness. I am sure our angels will protect me as I type, knowing that my previous Post stated emphatically that I was banned from the computer for one week.

Ness arrived home Tuesday. She sounded bright and cheery. As mentioned in a previous Post she underwent a Sentinel Node Biopsy prior to surgery. After surgery her sister Bec had mentioned there was something in the sternum.

Ness explained to me that the Sentinel Node Biopsy drained to the breastbone, rather than the axillary lymph nodes. The doctor said he had never seen this before and Medical Journal articles indicate that it is very rare. He knew therefore, at the time of surgery, that he would need to remove lymph nodes in the breastbone. He went very deep which resulted in soreness and pain. Had it not been for the result of the Sentinel Node Biopsy, he would not have looked for cancer spread in that area.

Ness said she felt the presence of her very powerful Guardian Angel and felt eternally grateful to Jezz for his presence. She therefore smiled when the doctor made the comment that, in his opinion, she must have angels by her side.

Once again, I am reminded of the book written by Wayne Dyer 'You'll See it When You Believe it'

No Go Zone

The unthinkable has happened! I have been given the message - no computer for at least 7 days. Yes! I am having withdrawls and it is not easy.

As you know I was scheduled to see Nancy Evelyn, my much loved and respected herbalist yesterday. Nancy has been with me on this journey since 1998; she is scratching her head.

I was distraught! Nancy does not have the answers either. The iris shows an overall improvement with only small areas of inflammation. Nancy suggested that Bowen Therapy may be useful. As often happens, I was one jump ahead of her and had previously made an appointment to see a new Bowen therapist in the afternoon.

I approached my appointment with Steve, from Advanced Body Network, with an open mind. After explaining the symptoms to him he took his book and showed me how the nerves affecting the arm come from the neck. Basically, he said it could be a simple neck problem. If I had three treatments and there was no noticeable difference then we were wasting our time (and money)

I know that since Jeremy's accident in November 2006, I have totally ignored the signs. I continued to drink the coffee and pay little attention to my acid/akaline balance. In December 2008 the voice in my head said that I was doing this to myself. Why did I think that I could reverse the damage in one day? For 2 years I had not honoured my body. So. I am a slow learner..

As Steve commenced the treatment, I found tears welling in my eyes. I felt the presence of our precious angels and the background music was 'A Hundred Thousand Angels' by Bliss. I am familiar with the song as I have it at home and listen to it often.

My angel guides whispered in my ear 'no computer for 7 days'

As much as I love to blog, missing everything about the writing, and the fabulous friendships, I feel I must listen to the Word of Knowledge that has been given to me with such love.

If I have not replied to your comment on my previous post, please understand that the pain is just too intense to allow me to continue.

I intend to be back, bigger and better than ever. And pain free! I will be counting the minutes....

Many blessings and much gratitude until then..

Group 33 Luncheon

This picture (a bevy of beauties) was taken by a staff member today at the Mattara Hotel Charlestown at the conclusion of our monthly Breast Cancer Support Group luncheon. I am wearing the buttercup yellow T-Shirt.

We lovingly refer to ourselves as Group 33; coming after 32 previous groups at the Mater Hospital Waratah.

Interestingly, about half of the group come from the Newcastle region while the remainder reside around Maitland. We agreed that it was prudent to alternate the venues allowing us equal travel distance over time.

Our introduction to the group was early 2006 which means that most surgery was performed in 2005. It was common to find members absent while undergoing chemo/radiotherapy during the course.

It is a blessing to find all in good health with no re-occurence. It seems I am the only one to have any issues with my health and, as I do not want to let the team down, it is important to find a reason for my constant pain which is eased only by the use of morphine.

Thank you to Lisa for kindly sending me new followers. Probably a good idea to do a brief summary (if that is possible.) I believe an overview would give a better understanding...

I write because I can and have found it to be good therapy, saving on counselling and psychotherapy costs. How much more enjoyable to know that there are readers and new friendships waiting to be formed.

Bloggers unite....

Update on Ness

My conversation with Ness yesterday was brief. Sent some flowers off in the morning and she said her room resembled a busy florist shop. That brought joy to my heart.

Apparently the morphine, given post surgery, caused a reaction. She had a sleepless night, the staff making every effort to settle down the skin rash that was preventing her from sleeping. It was still a problem when we spoke. I understand she has now been given pethidine to relieve the pain.

I am still unsure of the extent of the surgery and the removal of lymph nodes. Ness indicated that the discomfort in the sternum was related to the removal of the glands (lymph nodes) in that area.

Her son Dilon arrived to see her at the time of my call. I could hear the excitement in her voice as we said our goodbyes.

No doubt, it will be a time of mixed emotions as the healing process begins. There will be much uncertainty as she learns what follow-up is recommended.

The journey has only just begun.

Animal Dreaming News

In my Boxing Day Post I referred to the work of Scott Alexander King after purchasing a copy of Animal Dreaming. I then placed myself on the list to receive updates.

This came hot off the press today and The Team have said it is fine to share, so I am doing just that. I hope you find it as interesting as I have.

Scott says;

Well, it's February ... and hasn't the year started with a bang? And for many, a devastating bang at that.

We here at Animal Dreaming would like to extend our heartfelt wishes to those affected by the massive floods in Queensland and the bushfires that have taken hold of Victoria.

Many people have emailed asking Scott to share his thoughts on the bushfires and the estimated million or so native and domestic animals that have lost their lives to the flames. And to these questions, Scott has offered these thoughts:

"Well, the truth of the matter is (from a practical, tangible perspective), the Australian bush is designed to burn. It's meant to burn so that it may regenerate and remain healthy. And unfortunately, we humans like living in its depths. Worse still, we humans have among us individuals who like to burn things. And as far as the animals go ... sadly, after first sensing danger and fleeing the bush, they get used to the smoke and return to the forests thinking all is safe ... and then when the wind changes direction, or someone intentonally lights a new fire, they get caught in the fury. Besides, where can they go to escape the fires? Everywhere they go has been developed by humans - even most of the bush they have always called home. Nothing is 'natural' any more, including the cycles of the bush and the flow of the water ways. Everything has changed and despite our influence on the natural balance, we expect everything to stay the same. And it can't.

From a metaphysical point of view, however, Mother Earth is shifting. Simple. Her health is suffering and she is in the initial throws of fever. The world is changing and we are experiencing the affects more intensely than ever before. Everything is suffering as a result, from the weather to the economy. Sure, we're counting down to 2012, but seriously ... we have sped up the process of change in ways none of us could see coming (or rather, in ways none of us CHOSE to see coming). The Earth Changes are upon us, just as the Ancients predicted. And although that may be the case, we're also experiencing a slight case of trying to 'shut the barn door after the horse has bolted'. We willingly embraced the technological age and encouraged the faster-than-is-healthy development of the material world as we know it. GREED has replaced NEED. For the longest time, we ignored the warnings and even tried to deny the first signs of global warming ... and because we chose to hide our head in the sand, we're now screaming full-pelt toward global depression and the 'end of the world' as we know it.

Now, before anyone emails me and tells me I am being negative ... I don't for one second believe the 'world is going to end'. Not in the way many of us fear, anyway. I do see a time approaching, though, when the 'ME' attitude of many will be replaced by 'US'. When 'ME' will come to mean 'WE'. The world has to change. And we must change with it. We must unite ... or pay the price. Things can't continue the way they have been for much longer. Something has to give, and unfortunately, the way it looks, I fear Mother Earth's health will the first to go.

Over the past few years we've been receiving signs from Nature that things are about to change ... the whales beaching, for example, the death of the bees (in their millions), the sudden appearance of more-than-ever-before-experienced sharks in our bays and waterways, not to mention the signs being offered by the Earth Mother herself ... the mudslides, hurricanes, earthquakes, floods and fires; fires of such force that defy history or explanation.

Something is happening, and we need to prepare ourselves. We're still in the early stages, and I truly believe that, if we join forces and work as one, as a people, as a global tribe, and begin to share, support and defend one another, we can deflect a lot of the fear that's bound to arise."

Surgery for Ness

I have had to 'make do' with one of the few pictures that I have on file of Vanessa. This one was taken when we gathered for a Butterfly Release and dinner on the occasion of the first anniversary of Jeremy's passing. Ella, my precious Granddaughter is telling her a 'tall' tale.

Today is the day that Vanessa was scheduled to undergo a mastectomy in Bairnsdale Victoria. As Ness is just 32 years of age, I am reminded that cancer does not discriminate.

I became aware throughout the day that my behaviour was somewhat unusual as I consumed almost a block of chocolate and countless cups of Chai Latte as I waited for the phone call to tell me that she was out of surgery and in recovery.

I knew that Ness was scheduled to be admitted at 9am this morning. The doctor planned to do a Sentinel Node Biopsy which would be performed prior to her surgery. This is done to determine if there is any spread to the lymph nodes.

As Ness had organised for her younger sister Bec to call me with news, I was thrilled to hear that she was in surgery about 3pm. It was expected to take just over 2 hours.

I found myself eating chocolate rather than dinner as I sat waiting for the phone to ring. 'The King' said he was happy with left-overs.

It was almost 9pm when Bec called to say that Ness was in recovery. My understanding is that there is some concern. It appears to be more serious than first thought. I have been told that all of the glands have been removed and there is a problem with the sternum which had not shown up in the scans last week.

As I sit doing this entry, I am aware of just how difficult it is for me with so many memories of my own journey.

Ness has had the experience of learning to move gracefully down the path of grief. She will find herself on a similar path as she comes to term with the loss of a breast. Although this is completely different, it will refresh memories and can be a very emotional time, probably even more so for one so young.

Let us pray that the Light of Love will enter her body as our love, friendship and support help her body to heal and allow her true spirit to shine.

I cannot imagine where I would be today, if it were not for the very special friends that have given me a heart full of joy.

Please pray for Ness

The Recovery Begins

Tragedy taps the spirit of generosity at St Michael's Grammar School in St Kilda. The Principal, Simon Gipson surrounded by good donated in aid of the Bushfire Relief Fund.

This family survey the remains. Attention shifs from recovery to reconstruction. The State Government in Victoria is planning tough new fire regulations. The Premier has said that some planning changes could be introduced prior to the Teague Royal Commission Report.

Marysville residents meet at the Alexandria Relief Centre before being taken to inspect what is left of their homes. The town remains a police crime scene, with unknown number of bodies still to be recovered.

Marysville, a beautiful town nestled in a valley surrounded by waterfalls, creeks and tall mountain ash. Of approximately 200 houses and buildings only about 10 or 12 remain standing.

Pink, who was deeply affected by images of the fires announced a donation of $250,000

Today the first of the Memorial Services was held to celebrate the short life of bushfire victim Greg Lloyd who was looking after a house at Yarra Glen with his girlfriend Melanee Hermocilla and her brother Jason.

The congregation mourned the loss of a deeply committed Christian, who had been School Captain and Dux of Heathdale Cristian College.

A yound man with a zest for life and a booming laugh taken before his time, in tragic circumstances.

The United States have sent a specialist fire crew of 60.

The death toll has now risen to 189.

Let us pray for all whose lives have been lost and those who have lost everything. May the hand of friendship continue for a long as it is needed and beyond...

Life at the Farm

Life at the farm seems to be 'ever changing' at the moment. Last week we were in the midst of a drought. Temperatures soared reaching 4o degrees plus on some days.

The wallabies, finding little to eat in the paddocks, had decided that the pickings were greener closer to the house. I think they were disappointed!

Saturday was spent indoors as the rain continued. Overnight we woke several times to hear the rain falling.

First thing this morning we checked the rain guage only to discover that we had more than 6 inches of rain overnight.

We grabbed the camera and jumped in the ute. It is unusual to hear the water running off the mountains. Here it is running into an already overflowing dam.

Nowhere for it to go, combined with drainage problems, and it covers the road in and out. We realise that we are in trouble if it continues.

Notice the few raindrops that were on the lens of the camera?

Back to the house to start the generator for our early morning 'cuppa.' We had a power outage that lasted 9 hours.

Vanessa

At the time of Jeremy's accident I met Vanessa; a delightful young woman. Jeremy thought so too. They had been together the whole weekend prior to his accident.

Each time I went to Bairnsdale I had the opportunity to spend time with Ness. She always made time for a coffee and a catch up.

At the time she wrote the most beautiful verse. Although I have not been able to put it in its original format, the sentiment is too precious not to Post.

JEZZA

Awaken to a message

In my bed I would lay

'Good Morning' gorgeous

Another beautiful day

Are you up and about yet?

What's your plans for today?

When do I get to see you?

Miss you babe, you'd say

Reply to a message

In my bed I would lay

Good morning my sweet

You have just made my day

Can't wait to see you

Only one more day

I miss you too baby

Soon I'm out to play

I'll look forward to it baby

Not the same when you're away

That feeling felt between us

We both thought weird hey!

Surprised by the comfort

Shared as we lay

The old married couple

That had so much to say

To a room filled with music

When hearing was betrayed

Our eyes would do the talking

Just go with it. It's OK

Amazed by me the straight girl

Who loved you in everyway

To me you were like sunshine

Filling my heart with rays

We shared similar thoughts

Neither judging what other may

And appreciated the little things

Like a smile can brighten a day

Then when the night fell

In my bed I would lay

Sweet dreams gorgeous

Tomorrow you will stay

Goodnight my sweet

Sleep well I would say

Look forward to tomorrow

Wish it was today

Awaken to a message

In my bed I did lay

Our tomorrow was here baby

But you'd been taken away

Time once looked forward to

Now filled with dismay

The sunshine I once felt

Had now turned to grey

You come to me while dreaming

And wipe my tears away

You don't have to let go baby

In your heart I will stay

My sweet I say 'Thank You'

How can I ever repay

All you taught and gave me

In such a selfless way

Dance like no ones watching

You showed me that OK

Sing like no one's listening

I'll drive you crazy every day

I will cherish our time forever

The world forgotten as we lay

And my smile will return

As you'd want it that way

Be free sweet angel boy

In the stars you now lay

Forever young, forever beautiful

Taking care of us every day.

Ness (far right) with Megan and Ella (granddaughter)

At the time of the Celebration of Life service for Jeremy I met Vanessa's Mother who simply said that she did not know my son but she was so very grateful to him for giving Vanessa back her life.

Last night I spoke to Vanessa (meaning butterfly) only to find that she has been diagnosed with breast cancer. At just 33 years of age I heard, and felt, the fear of the unknown. She is scheduled to undergo a mastectomy on Wednesday. My prayers and love will be with Vanessa. I smiled when she added that she was glad to have Jezz as her Guardian Angel

Oops! Just could not get the spacing on the verse as I wanted it. No patience this morning! I believe it is worth making the effort to read as it is.

Another Day of Torment

It is with a heavy heart that I compose myself sufficiently to complete this Post. Worsening conditions are predicted for townships in Victoria's north-east and Gippsland regions. This area is close to my heart and the focus of today's Post.

This picture was taken in Dargo, which is one of the areas being threatened. Jeremy on the far right (arms raised, blue tank top) made it his favourite place to celebrate occasions such as New Year, Australia Day and Easter. I have wonderful memories of the fun and friendship he found in the region. I remember the laughter, as he related some of the stories/antics, that only he could feel comfortable to share with his Mother.

A hellish ligh descneds outside Dargo (The Age Newspaper)

With twenty-four fires burning out of control in Victoria there are some 4000 firefighters battling the blaze and 1800 hectares of bush burned.

I have now learned that Megan's partner Jason is expecting to move his log harvesting equipment from the coup to the firefront at Dargo.

Jason and Megan were successful when the DSE called for Tenders with five year contracts; Jason now logs the area.

In times of emergency he is called on to use his equipment.

When Megan told me that they could be put under contract to The Department of Sustainability and Environment (DSE) later in the week I knew that they would be protected. Jeremy's Spirit lives on in the area. Megan will take Jeremy's love with her as protection.

In February 2007 I was in the area when something like 47 fires joined up to form the Great Divide Complex. Jason's machinery, under contract to DSE was used in the firefighting efforts. That became Megan's first experience of being on the front line of firefighting.

While we are experiencing the worst bushfires in Australia's history Haydn and I sit at home watching the news and feeling absolutely useless.

We realise that things in NSW are still uncertain. We have only to look at our own property to realise that now may not be the 'perfect' time to leave home to help others. The picture from our window is very much of a sunburnt country.

We will certainly be putting our names forward, when the time comes, to began the rebuilding programme. After all, Haydn is supportive of the fact that I have lived as many years in Victoria as I have in NSW. East Gippsland was home to me for many years. I have wonderful memories and treasured friendships.

Victorian in a State of Crisis - February 2009

Although these are not daughter Megan's pictures, they have been taken from her Facebook pages. Megan's partner Jason is a logging contractor; he has well over $1,000,000 worth of harvesting equipment at risk if the fires reach his logging coup.
The last time I spoke to Megan they were preparing to head up to the coup to 'bury' the equipment in the hope of saving it if the fires goes through. Even in good condition there are risks with getting too and from the area in which he works. I find myself a little anxious as I write. Jason is a 'bushie' and although he knows the area well, the weather conditions are totally unpredictable.
We know the old saying 'A picture tells a thousand words.' The death toll stands at 36.

I pray for the safety of all concerned. Megan and Jason are members of the Swifts Creek DSE; they are on standby and will go into the firefront should they be required.

The firefighters continue to do amazing work and the volunteers that provide the food to sustain them are to be applauded. Relief Funds are being organised. These are difficult times and I know that fellow Australians will do what we do best, with community spirit shining through.

Today has not been a good one for me in terms of the amount of morphine required to control the pain. As a result I find that words do not come easily. I am sure you understand that my heart goes out to all that have lost family and personal possessions and I ask you to remember them in your prayers.

Tough Couple of Days

Big 'Thank You' to my Earth Angel Friends for caring and encouraging me during the challanges of the past months.

Dr Mark Henderson amused me yesterday. He said that he had no idea what to do about the swelling and redness in the veins as he had just come out of ED. I asked him what 'ED' was. When he said Emergency Department I suggested that had he said ER I would have understood immediately. He asked a senior doctor about my condition. I was advised to do nothing at this point. I was told to watch for changes and warned to call an ambulance, or get myself to hospital immediately, if I felt concerned.

I think I learned that my condition in the surface veins is called Thrombophlebitis even though there are clots. Technically Thrombosis is in the deep vein.

You can imagine my distress this morning to find that I have swelling and inflammation on the opposite leg. I found myself emotionally overcome as I knew that there was more; there is a problem. I am missing something.

Sent and e-mail to Paul in which I explained my current situation. I am suffering dreadfully from the side effects of morphine; the most notable being constipation. His reply stated that can be an effect of the morphine. It is because the constipation allows material to recycle from the bowel by way of the portal vein leading to the liver and thus the blood becomes a little loaded with toxins. I was advised to take one tablespoon of Epsom Salts before retiring. Warned in advance that it is not pleasant...

I know it is time to get off the morphine however, that is not possible with the pain at its current level.

Gathered up my books and began reading. In 'Take Control of Your Health and Escape the Scikness Industry by Elaine Hollingsworth I came across a story from a woman that suffered dreadfully from 'aching veins.' The problem improved when she went off a multi-vitamin supplement containing Ginkgo Biloba.

I then went to Mark Stengler ND who recommends Ginkgo Biloba. It is believed to have a 'tonifying effect' on the venous system which allows for the more efficient return of blood to the heart. Ginkgo has a natural blood-thinning effect. It helps to prevent blood platelets from sticking together - platelets being the cells that form blood clots. It is therefore 'perfect' for someone given my current health isssues.

I am taking a Life Balance Antioxidant Supplement containing Ginkgo. Paul is also taking the same supplement. He is very impressed! I do not feel it is the supplement itself; maybe just the Ginkgo.

I have decided to avoid the Antioxidant supplement for the time being as I search for the answers.